"WHAT'S WRONG?" I shouted into the receiver.
I heard my baby, Katy, sobbing, in broken phrases, over her baby, "Mama! James is having a seizure. . .ambulance coming. . .maybe a stroke. . .or an aneurysm. . .Dave's holding him, pacing, praying out loud. . ."
The hours until dawn were filled with prayer, anguish, thoughts of death. . .or worse, buying a plane ticket. Doug held me in his arms as I cried and prayed, "Lord, please don't take him after all this." Then I thought about how he might be after a brain bleed. "Oh Lord, please don't leave him here a vegetable."
My opposing prayers spotlighted my helplessness to even know how to pray. "Oh Lord. You know best. Take us all through this."
And He did. Again. It was a grand mal seizure and lasted over 40 minutes. Katy and James were airlifted (for the third time) to Toronto's Sick Kids Hospital. CT scan, MRI and neurosurgeons found no damage. He was pronounced normal. ..again. Anti-seizure meds upped. Done.
God surely has something special planned in the life of James.
Crises. Valleys of death. Bends in the road. We all go through these painful, difficult times in life. Why? It's a natural question. Sometime there is no obvious answer. My life verse (I've had several through the years) reminds me that "All things work together for good. . ."
GOOD? Really? When my heart races in fear, or aches in pain, when I hear Goliath roar before me, I tremble. We all face those giants. I see no good in the immediate. But sometimes after the battle, I look back and can see the good.
Hard times for me:
- strengthen my relationship with God
- increase my faith and prayer life "Whom have I in heaven but Thee?"
- bring our family closer, to draw strength and love from each other Just last night Katy Face Timed us and said, "We need a circle of prayer. . ." (Family closeness is not all about geography.)
- teach me how to handle fear "What time I'm afraid I will TRUST in God."
- bring friends closer to support you in love and prayer
- shift my priorities (When our little world shakes, what's really important becomes crystal clear. Hard times reset our sails to go in God's direction.)
- help me hear the voice of God (As C.S. Lewis said, "God shouts to us in our pain.")
- remind me of the Holy Spirit's comfort, direction and provision moment by moment God's in the details; we even got a refund on our plane ticket when the crisis ended. Unheard of!
Do I like hard times? No! Do I want hard times? No! Do I grow spiritually in hard times? Yes! When life runs smoothly I'm inclined to create the illusion of self-sufficiency. When my knees buckle as my world crashes down, carrying me with it, I RECLINE on the everlasting arms of the One Who carries me.
~ ~ ~
P.S. Less than 2 hours after posting this, the phone rang. . .Katy again. "Mom, Dave passed out at work, fell, hit is head and is at the hospital ER." Another bend, another surprise but not to the One Who loves us most. We're praying it's weakness from a 2 week respiratory infection and no concussion damage. Show us the GOOD, Lord. Be glorified!
~ ~ ~
P.S. Less than 2 hours after posting this, the phone rang. . .Katy again. "Mom, Dave passed out at work, fell, hit is head and is at the hospital ER." Another bend, another surprise but not to the One Who loves us most. We're praying it's weakness from a 2 week respiratory infection and no concussion damage. Show us the GOOD, Lord. Be glorified!
Your post came at just the right time. A relative of mine my be having an eye surgery and it is scary to me. He goes to a retina specialist the end of April. Praying for a postive outcome, but trusting God no matter what. My prayer is the Lord will make me strong as his Help Meet. Your words spoke to my heart. You met a need. Thank you!
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