Friday, October 25, 2013


Family stories are the best!  Ours has enough to make a sitcom for a season.

When our third child, Katy, came I worked hard to keep up her baby book and photo album.  "I don't want to be the cause for her needing therapy one day, dealing with classic third-born stuff."

At about age 10 she picked up her yellow baby book and began to thumb through it.  She spotted the page headed Daddy's first words upon seeing me were. . .

She read what I wrote then whined, "Moo-oooom! You wrote Daddy said, 'It's a boy!'  You got mixed up and wrote, Kent's history in MY book.  

"No, I didn't, Honey.  Sit down by me.  I've been waiting 10 years to tell you this."

Her brow furrowed with curiosity as I began to tell about the moment of her birth.

"Katy, Daddy was not in the delivery room when your brother and sister were born.  Time you came along though, they allowed fathers in.  No sonograms back then either.  He was by my head when you were born so he asked the doctor, 'What is it?'"

"See for yourself," the doc said as he spun you around.  The umbilical cord was between your legs.

So Daddy's first words upon seeing you were, "IT'S A BOY!"

The doc lifted the cord (WHAT a boy!) and suggested, "You better look again, Mr. Henderson."

Laughing she asked, "Really, Mom?"

"True.  He didn't want me to write his words in your baby book.  But history is history!" 

~  ~  ~

Kent was just learning to read and we were in a convenience store.  Eyeing the various vending machines he read aloud the names of candy bars. Then he mosied to the cigarette machine.
 Spotting his name, he pouted with, "I wish they wouldn't name cigarettes after me.  I don't usually smoke."

True.  Not usually.

Years later, he still found humor in pouting at convenience store words! 

~   ~   ~
Just before her wedding day, Katy chatted with Barbara Hill, our friend who catered the reception.  Knowing brides often miss out on reception food, Barb wondered if she might pack Katy a basket of food to take when they left the church. All she knew of honeymoon plans was a cruise out of Orlando would happen sometime.  

Without sharing her thoughts, Barbara innocently asked,"So, Katy, are you going all the way the first night?"

"Miss Barbara!" Katy squealed, thinking that was quite personal.

Realizing Katy wasn't thinking about food, Barbara quickly explained, "No, I mean are you going all the way in the car?"

Shocked again, Katy blushed, "MISS BARBARA!"

I finally interpreted for them both.  Katy got her goodie basket.  When she returned from the cruise, she popped into our family room declaring, "Well, I'm all consummated and everything!"


My brother, Bert, heard that word used incorrectly once at a country wedding. (Seems receptions tend to confuse folks!) He was photographing the wedding in the small church. After the ceremony the pastor addressed the congregation, "The bride and groom invite you to join them in the fellowship hall as they consummate their marriage."

(Bert thought, I don't do those kinda pictures!)

Friday, October 18, 2013


There are tests for everything so when I saw this one, I thought, "I'm an expert on the obvious!"  So I took it.  I'll tell you how I did at the end.  Try it! No cheating.

You only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass. 

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch ?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ?

Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below ....


1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8 ) What color is a purple finch ? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ? Orange (of course) 

I promised to tell you how I did so I simply refer you to the title of this blog.  Yep. That's me! I did know #8 because I see purple finches daily as they perch on our bird feeder.

I wish I was as smart as I sometimes think I am.  But I'm not.  Here's the verification.

Friday, October 11, 2013


"Kathy, you've got to get to the $5 sale at the hospital!  They have jewelry, scarves, accessories all for one price," implored Patsy at her piano lesson.

So I obeyed my friend.  Snapped up some real bargains and gifts.  Then it happened.  As I left the hospital cafeteria I turned left down the long hallway.  I should have turned right. Our hospital is a series of tall buildings connected by curving hallways.  The complex stretches over several blocks.  (See below.) When I finally exited, I was on the backside and blocks away from my car in one of many parking lots.  I could see the tower but could not seem to get to it. Locked doors blocked me.  I spotted a guard in his security car and thought about asking him for help. 
I started at the far right building and wound up at the far left one.

This was not the first time I'd wandered around McCleod Hospital trying to find my Buick in the maize of parking lots.  A few years back a kind guard actually drove me around til we found it! This second time I eventually asked a sweet nurse for help with a simple admission, "I'm lost." She hit the keypad with secret numbers and the door opened!  Then she escorted me to the main lobby with a smile. I almost cried.

Usually I have a great sense of direction, especially driving.  But inside large buildings, even unfamiliar malls, I can get turned around and navigate backwards.  Ever come out of a store and forget if you were going left or right?  Me too.  One wrong turn and I'm lost!  It's a bad feeling.

~     ~     ~
Even worse is being lost as a child.  It happened to me when I was about 8 years old in Sears and Roebuck in downtown Norfolk, VA.  One minute I was with my parents, the next. . .LOST! I found myself in a parking lot even back then searching for our family car. Yes, it was a Buick too.  Suddenly I spotted two familiar faces from our church.  They took me back into the store and found my folks.  I almost cried.

But the absolute worst experience was losing our daughter, Kimberly, maybe 5 or 6 years old at the N.C state fair! Talk about panic!  I did cry.  But that's another whole blog story.

Suffice it to say that my getting lost usually means humbly admitting it and asking someone for help. Men are teased about not asking for directions but it can be tough for anyone.  Moses might not have wandered for 40 years had he asked for directions!

God understands lost people.  His promise in Psalm 32:8 is one I cling to, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life."

Lost?  Confused?  Uncertain?  Ask for help.  Even the Lone Ranger was not alone, Kimosabi!

Friday, October 4, 2013


The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
   - George Roberts

Wood burns faster when you cut it yourself.
   - Harrison Ford

As I hurtled through space one thought kept crossing my mind--every part of this rocket was built by the lowest bidder.
   - John Glen

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
   - Prince Phillip

Having more money doesn't make you happier.  I have $50 million but I'm just as happy as when I had $48 million.
   - Arnold Schwarzengger

After the chess game the king and the pawn go into the same box.
   - Italian proverb

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car does not.
   - Jeff Foxworthy

The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
   - Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe that a person is innocent until proven broke.
   - Robin Hall

Kill one man and you're a murderer.  Kill a million and you're a conqueror.
   - Jean Rostand

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
   - Steve Martin
I have kleptomania but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
   - Robert Benchley

A lot of people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I'm afraid of widths.
   - Steven Wright  

Do the right thing.  It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
   - Mark Twain

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   - Bertrand Russell