FAMILY TRILOGY

Family stories are the best!  Ours has enough to make a sitcom for a season.

When our third child, Katy, came I worked hard to keep up her baby book and photo album.  "I don't want to be the cause for her needing therapy one day, dealing with classic third-born stuff."

At about age 10 she picked up her yellow baby book and began to thumb through it.  She spotted the page headed Daddy's first words upon seeing me were. . .

She read what I wrote then whined, "Moo-oooom! You wrote Daddy said, 'It's a boy!'  You got mixed up and wrote, Kent's history in MY book.  

"No, I didn't, Honey.  Sit down by me.  I've been waiting 10 years to tell you this."

Her brow furrowed with curiosity as I began to tell about the moment of her birth.

"Katy, Daddy was not in the delivery room when your brother and sister were born.  Time you came along though, they allowed fathers in.  No sonograms back then either.  He was by my head when you were born so he asked the doctor, 'What is it?'"

"See for yourself," the doc said as he spun you around.  The umbilical cord was between your legs.

So Daddy's first words upon seeing you were, "IT'S A BOY!"

The doc lifted the cord (WHAT a boy!) and suggested, "You better look again, Mr. Henderson."

Laughing she asked, "Really, Mom?"

"True.  He didn't want me to write his words in your baby book.  But history is history!" 

~  ~  ~

Kent was just learning to read and we were in a convenience store.  Eyeing the various vending machines he read aloud the names of candy bars. Then he mosied to the cigarette machine.

 Spotting his name, he pouted with, "I wish they wouldn't name cigarettes after me.  I don't usually smoke."

True.  Not usually.

Years later, he still found humor in pouting at convenience store words! 

~   ~   ~

Just before her wedding day, Katy chatted with Barbara Hill, our friend who catered the reception.  Knowing brides often miss out on reception food, Barb wondered if she might pack Katy a basket of food to take when they left the church. All she knew of honeymoon plans was a cruise out of Orlando would happen sometime.  

Without sharing her thoughts, Barbara innocently asked,"So, Katy, are you going all the way the first night?"

"Miss Barbara!" Katy squealed, thinking that was quite personal.

Realizing Katy wasn't thinking about food, Barbara quickly explained, "No, I mean are you going all the way in the car?"

Shocked again, Katy blushed, "MISS BARBARA!"

I finally interpreted for them both.  Katy got her goodie basket.  When she returned from the cruise, she popped into our family room declaring, "Well, I'm all consummated and everything!"

TMI

My brother, Bert, heard that word used incorrectly once at a country wedding. (Seems receptions tend to confuse folks!) He was photographing the wedding in the small church. After the ceremony the pastor addressed the congregation, "The bride and groom invite you to join them in the fellowship hall as they consummate their marriage."

(Bert thought, I don't do those kinda pictures!)