Friday, August 31, 2012


Every parent, any teacher hears a myriad of excuses.  Kids seem to be the chief manufacturers of them.  From the standard, "The dog ate my homework" to the written excuse note that reads, "My mother said I was sick and could not do my book report.  Signed Mrs. Smith."

Kids are not alone in this venture.  Adults are guilty as well, although they cultivate it as they age.  Novices may begin with, "The check's in the mail," but soon refine the lie.

I asked my facebook friends about excuses they'd heard or used.  June 14:

 ·  · 

    • Victor Caine I'm out of peanut butter.

      (excuse given to a preacher for missing church... "Because it's as good as any other reason I could give you.")

      4 hours ago ·  · 1

    • Jimmy C. Griggs A person calling her insurance enrollment information 2 days past the cut off period (using her cell phone).....reason for calling late, the land line was notworking.
      3 hours ago ·  · 1

    • Brenda Walker Ragan Bro Cordell actually ran over a term paper with the lawn mower after it fell out of his pocket and he backed up over it.
      3 hours ago ·  · 1

    • Joy Kilgore Couldn't come to church because the electricity was off and we couldn't cook breakfast.
      3 hours ago ·  · 1

    • Serena Morgan The guy that was driving in front of me was going 20 miles under the speed limit, so I tought I would be able to use up those extra 20 miles over the speed limit to make up for lost time.
      2 hours ago ·  · 1

    • Serena Morgan ‎---------The kids--------- Thats a pretty good excuse all in itself!
      2 hours ago · 

    • Rebecca Bentley Hall I seriously hit every red light on the way ...
      6 minutes ago ·  · 1

    • Allan Crowson ‎"Our computer crashed."
      "Our Internet was down."
      "The library didn't have the book when I went to get it yesterday."

      2 minutes ago ·  · 1

As a piano teacher I hear excuses weekly.  Bet you do too. If you care to leave your favorite classics in the comment section, I'd love to hear more.

Without excuse,
Just Kathy

Friday, August 24, 2012


Kent Bryant's family was in our very first church ministry during the '70's.  Today he's a husband, father and missionary in Fiji with Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF.)  We reconnected on facebook.  Earlier this year he shared quite a story.  So I asked him to let me pass it along on my blog (from his own.)  He graciously gave me permission.


Malachi 3:17  "And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels. . ."

During the past four years, Kent has endeavored to build a bridge of friendship with Rajan (RAH'John), an Indian young man who works at a nearby supermarket.  Rajan recently started wearing a necklace with a cross on it.  Noticing the cross pendant, Kent asked Rajan if he knew the story about the cross.  He didn't.  So Rajan was invited to come to the CEF office to hear the story.  One Friday night Kent and Rajan sat at the reception area so Kent could explain the Gospel via the salvation truths which are beautifully carved in the CEF letters which hang on the wall in the reception area.

Rajan enjoyed listening to the Good News that the heavenly Father loves him.  But he was extremely resistant to the news that he was a sinner as this concept of personal sin is not part of Hinduism.  Kent finished explaining the Gospel story, but then asked Rajan to think about the truths he had learned.

The next evening, we were relaxing and enjoying a family night.  We were surprised when Rajan showed up around 8:15 PM.  We fed him dinner and he expressed interest in receiving that free gift of salvation.  Meanwhile, he asked if he could listen to an old iPod that he found in the dorm room. There was no connection cord. 

Kent turned his back for a few minutes to ask our son, Jeremy, to check the iPod.  It was dead.  Rajan put down his dead iPod and went downstairs to the dorms.

Jeremy suddenly remembered his new iPod Touch and went to pick it up from the living room.  IT WAS GONE!  Sick at heart, we searched the apartment.  Kent and Jeremy went downstairs twice to ask Rajan about the missing iPod Touch. Rajan denied having any knowledge of its whereabouts.

Kent searched Rajan's backpack twice before finally telling Rajan that he was no longer allowed to be on the CEF property until we located the iPod Touch.  All weekend our family greived over this betrayal of trust as we searched for the missing iPod.  In particular, we, as parents, grieved that our son was paying the price of our obedience to the Lord for sharing the Gospel as a missionary family.

Kent also grieved the broken relationship with Rajan.

Several days later, a volunteer came running upstairs holding the missing iPod Touch, which had been hidden behind a mirror down in the dorm. Jeremy was ecstatic to have it back!  

Three weeks went by.  Rajan came by twice to offer Indian sweets to Kent. Each time, Kent graciously thanked Rajan, assured him of his love, accepted the love gifts, but stuck to his word about not allowing Rajan back into the building.  Finally, Rajan arranged to talk to Kent on Monday, March 12.  In that meeting, Kent asked Rajan about the whereabouts of the iPod Touch, not yet revealing it had been found.  Kent wanted him to have enough time to admit his sin, asking Rajan to simply say five words, "Yes sir, I did it."  

As Rajan hesitated to speak, Kent explained that, although he still loved him, their friendship was broken.  As there had been no one else on the property that evening, we knew Rajan had to have taken the iPod Touch. Kent needed to have him admit to what he had done.  Rajan finally said, "Sir, I did it."  

At that point Kent stood up and hugged him, saying, "I love you for telling the truth."  

As Kent talked about their broken friendship that needed to be repaired through admitting the wrong and asking forgiveness, he told Rajan about his friendship with God which also broken.  With that explanation, spiritual understanding finally dawned!  Rajan admitted he had sinned, his friendship with God was broken and he needed a Savior.  Rajan was born again!
Kent gave him a Bible and a correspondence Bible lesson for follow-up.  

The next day, Rajan showed up during his lunch break with his completed Bible lesson.  He had studied for two hours the night before and read the first pages of his new Bible.  He was so excited when Kent wrote 100% on his lesson.  Every day the first week he returned to get his new lesson.  It brings us great joy to see his hunger for spiritual truths.  

What a story of a great God Who has great mercy and goes to great lengths to have the lost sinner understand the greatest story ever told, so that there would be another precious jewel in God's forever family!

Friday, August 17, 2012


I never quite know how to answer that question.  I could legitimately say:

"Florence, South Carolina" because I live there.
"Newport, Rhode Island" because I was born there.
"Norfolk, Virginia" because I lived there twice.
"Guantanamo Bay, Cuba" was home for two years.
"Nashville, Tennessee" was where I spent my four college years.

As the daughter of a Naval officer we lived in many other places.  One constant was that my parents were from the farmlands of North Carolina. So my roots were definitely southern although my birth certificate indicated Yankee.  So today's blog is a tutorial for our southern way of talkin'!

In the south:

We don't push buttons, we mash them.

Instead of rolling down car windows when we park in the summertime, we crack them so the heat won't be unbearable when we get back in.

The word jeet is actually a question, meaning, "Did you eat?"

Ya'll is singular.  All ya'll is plural.

Fixin' to is a word that means, "I'm getting ready to do that."

We like to refer to our shopping cart as a buggy.

We grow, eat and like okra.

We know what a hissy fit is and don't want to be around when our mama throws one.

We carry jumper cables in our car for our own car.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and we love it sweet.

Jawl is an easy way of saying, "Did all of you?"

Backwards and forwards means we know all about you.

At midday we eat lunch and at night we have supper.  On Sundays at midday we have dinner.

We like our festivals and proudly name them after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

Our main spices are salt, pepper, mustard, ketchup and hot sauce.

The saying I had to go around my elbow to get to my thumb means we were forced to do something simple, the hard way.

I might could, means maybe I could.

And if you hear a southerner say he is fixin' to fry up a mess, get your appetite ready because he's about to cook a bunch of fish.

Cheese crackers and peanut butter are called Nabs.

When we say, "Don't be ugly," what we are saying is don't be mean.

My grandmother used to caution me to, "Be pretty now."  I knew full well she was telling me to behave, to be good!  Mama called it being pretty on the inside.
                                         ~     ~     ~                           
We pull over to let a funeral procession pass.  We don't have fireflies but call them lightening bugs.  Taters are mandatory while shoes are not. Chicken is fried and biscuits come with gravy.  Kool Aid, Sundrop and Cheerwine are the house wines, second only to our staple sweet tea.

I wish all ya'll could come over and share some Nabs and Mt. Dew with me on our porch swing.  Then we'd chew the fat awhile 'fore supper. And of course we'd have a big ol' sweet iced tea!!

Friday, August 10, 2012


I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please?"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.

When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  "Hey!" I announced to the technician, "It's open!"  
His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS

We had to have the garage door repaired.  The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large enough motor" on the  opener. 
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

 He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a  1/4 horsepower." 

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. 

He said, "NO, it's  not!  Four is larger than two."         

We  haven't used Sears repair since.
My  daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk  a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "You gave me too much money." 

I said, "Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went  to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. 

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, "We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing."

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.  
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore."

From  Kingman, KS


My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. 
 She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. 

From Kansas City


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "
Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To  which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham, Alabama

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
 I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. 

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS    


At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to downsizing, 
our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
 and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

How would you pronounce this child's name?


Leah?                NO
Lee - A?            NOPE
Lay - a?             NO
Lei?                   Guess Again. 

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha." 

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. 

I feel like a VALEDICTORIAN!

They walk among us. . .and they  VOTE!

After I planned the above blog, my friend, Genevieve Waddell, sent these so I had to expand a bit.  She began with her own experience.

*Ginny vs. Walmart produce:  
I told the worker that the watermelon I'd bought the day before was very bad, way overripe.  She seriously said, "Well, our policy is that you cannot return what you've already opened!" Kroger does though!
*One  day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"  

Someone looked up at the sky and  said, "Where?"
They walk among  us!  

*Traffic Camera:                                                    
A man was driving when he saw the
 flash of a traffic camera. 

He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.  Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more  slowly, but again the camera flashed. 

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth  time with the same result.  He did this a fifth time and was now
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.   

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
They Walk Among Us!                          
*My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her  weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said she didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving.
They Walk Among Us!

*My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk. 
They Walk Among Us!
*While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said, "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
They Walk Among Us!  

Friday, August 3, 2012


While no expert, I have learned a few things about men.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any socks.  Jean Kerr

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. Henry Youngman

To attract men, I wear perfume called New Car Interior.  Rita Rudner

Men know when it's time to clean out the refrigerator--when something closes the door from the inside.

A man's thoughts on housekeeping--you make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

If guys were supposed to hang up clothes, door knobs would be bigger.

One wallet, one pair of shoes, and one color for all seasons.

Men wear shorts no matter how their legs look.

Men can do their nails with a pocket knife.

Most men can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th.

Men play with toys all their lives.

Men get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Their belly usually hides their big hips.

For men, the same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

Helping around the house means tossing a towel near the laundry basket. 

RoMANced by my husband,