- George Roberts
Wood burns faster when you cut it yourself.
- Harrison Ford
As I hurtled through space one thought kept crossing my mind--every part of this rocket was built by the lowest bidder.
- John Glen
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
- Prince Phillip
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have $50 million but I'm just as happy as when I had $48 million.
- Arnold Schwarzengger
After the chess game the king and the pawn go into the same box.
- Italian proverb
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car does not.
- Jeff Foxworthy
The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
- Spike Milligan
Lawyers believe that a person is innocent until proven broke.
- Robin Hall
Kill one man and you're a murderer. Kill a million and you're a conqueror.
- Jean Rostand
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
- Steve Martin
I have kleptomania but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
- Robert Benchley
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright
- Mark Twain
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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