Thursday, July 28, 2011

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING


(This is my last rerun blog.  Beginning tomorrow I'll post a new one every Friday.  If you care to be on my email weekly notice list just contact me at kathyhenderson47@gmail.com.)

Technology is illogical. At least to me it is! Makes no sense most of the time. I’m thankful God put some geeks in my life. Doug’s a beaver who reads the manual and follows the rules ver batim.


I’m admittedly an otter, a button pusher. I tend to see technology as a party waiting to happen. Let me give you four real life examples.


#1. Years ago when car doors first came out with push button locks, I got myself in trouble. Mary Jo Cox, our pastor’s wife, went on visitation with me one day across town. Now in Raleigh back then, that meant a good 20 minute drive, one way. We actually went to the home of a Hindu lady and she even showed us her altar. 


When we left, I discovered I’d locked my keys in the Buick.
“May I please use your phone to call my husband?” The lady graciously let us back in, then we told her we’d wait by the car.


“Jo, Doug was in a staff meeting with your husband. I don’t think either of them are very happy about this interruption or coming to our rescue.”


We chatted and waited about 15 minutes, leaning on the car. I have no idea what possessed her to do this but she turned and tried the back door. It opened! We gasped in unison. I ran straight to it, pushed down the lock button and slammed the door shut again.


“Kathy! What are you doing? You just locked us out again!”


“I’m making Doug’s trip worthwhile, Mary Jo! And don’t you dare tell him.”


This was back before cell phones. She kept my secret. He wasn’t thrilled about spending 45 minutes of his morning helping us. Imagine how much less thrilled he’d have been knowing we really didn’t need him.


Several years later I confessed my ‘Page 2: the rest of the story.’ By then he could laugh about it. Humor is all about timing.


#2. Another evening we were out shopping with friends, Jerry and Pauline Padgett.


The men headed to hardware and we agreed to meet back at checkout. We finished before them and waited awhile then decided to have some fun...using store technology, the intercom system.


"Excuse me, ma'am, would you please page Dougie and Jerry? Tell them their mommies are waiting."


The nice lady obliged us as we stifled giggles, thinking how fun it was to embarrass them. Suddenly around the corner came a shopping cart flying toward us with one grown man IN it, the other barreling it into turbo. Both men yelling, "Mom-mmmmmyyyy! Mom-mmmmmyyyyy!"


Tables turned.


Might I add that Doug’s Master’s degree in Church Music and Jerry’s retired Naval Commander status, as an engineer and Annapolis grad, carry a great deal of dignity and respect? Well, not at that precise moment.


#3. More recently at Walmart the technology again backfired on me.


I saw a man in a faded T shirt and worn blue jeans crouch behind a necktie rack. He duck walked around an aisle, peeking as he maneuvered. Obviously he tried desperately not to be seen.


But I saw him.


Hurrying to find a worker, I breathlessly reported, “There’s a man in men’s wear. I think he might be shoplifting or something. He’s hiding.”


“What’s he wearing?” she whispered.


She was taking me quite seriously. It’s wonderful to be part of the Good Guys’ Team and help save the world. She asked me to quietly take her to him. We skulked around until I spotted him and pointed silently.


Placing her finger to her lips, she shushed me and ushered me away from him. Probably trying to protect me.


Then she softly spoke, “He’s one of Walmart’s employees. He's watching someone who may be shoplifting. We have them on surveillance.”


“But he looks so plain, just normal…”


Oh. I get it. Duh.


Go ahead, lady, USE your fancy technology…see if I ever try to help again. How embarrassing.


#4. Another day at Walmart Doug and I were shopping. (All roads go to Walmart. As does a big chunk of our paycheck.) We’d just gotten a new car and our first key fob.


“It’s very easy, Kathy,” Doug demonstrated on my fob.
"Nothing can go wrong, Honey." I hate when someone says that because it guarantees something will.


Dividing the list, we decided to meet back at the car when done. As I left the store, I spotted him walking about 15 cars ahead of me, almost to ours. He pulled out his shiny new fob and pressed Unlock.


I immediately pulled out mine and pressed Horn.
He had no idea I was behind him.


HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!


Startled, he looked again at his fob and pressed Horn to stop. It did.
I waited about 3 seconds and hit my horn button again.
HONK! HONK! HONK!
 
He hit stop on his about three times.  Real hard.
Once more I hit the horn but I think my laughter was louder. He spun around, spotted me and I could see his bewildered face trying to unravel the last 30 seconds.


Ain’t technology fun?


Until tomorrow with a shiny, brand new blog.

Blessings!


Kathy


4 comments:

  1. That's a HONKER of a post. Enjoyed a good laugh!! I was wondering what you guys were doing there taking those funny pictures!

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  3. Add a BIG GRIN to my comment

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  4. Too funny...I venture to say, Doug has had a most exciting life!

    I remember going on visitation with a friend and having a similar experience. But I think yours is funnier, so I won't try to top it!

    I also remember Mary Jo. She's from my home church in WV, and I think my Dad married her and Randy. I know he married her sister Betty and Carlton. She sent me a note last week ordering my book.

    Judy

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