Friday, August 23, 2013


"Can you believe we're drawing Social Security?"

"No.  I sure don't feel 65!"

Friends commiserate with us and we all moan in unison when we stand up to the sound of knees popping.  When Cher was asked what's good about growing old, her answer was, "Nothing."

I disagree.  We know a few more things now and can offer wisdom or wit occasionally.  Like now.

* Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree.
* Wrinkles don't hurt.
* Families are like fudge. . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

* Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
* Laughing is good exercise.  It's like jogging on the inside.
* Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

* Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
* Any day above ground is a good day.
* Growing old isn't so bad when you consider that there's only one alternative.

* Forget health food.  We need all the preservatives we can get!
* When you fall down you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
* You now get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you  once got from a roller coaster.

* Wisdom comes with age but sometimes age comes alone.
* My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
* Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

* It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
* The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
* Eventually you reach an age when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Our prayer:
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder 
and your hand over my mouth!

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