OH, FORGET IT!

And I often do!  I forget where I left my keys or parked my car.  Senior moments are common these days.  Recently they reached an all time high. . .or low, depending on your vantage point.

Doug and I had a few days together last week in a condo at Myrtle Beach. During these fall and winter months we pretty much have the place to ourselves between weekends. 


We stayed on the 11th floor and basically saw no one except the resort workers.  

Our view from the balcony

"Doug, let's go to the jacuzzi after supper."


"Great idea.  Let me stop by the front desk to get something first.  I'll meet you there."


Knowing there were several outdoor pools and hot tubs, I added, "OK.  I'll wait for you at the indoor tub by the pool."


So I turned on the jets and slipped into the warm water.  It felt wonderful for about 10 minutes then it got lobster hot.  So I got out and swam a bit in the heated pool.  I toggled back and forth between the two for 40 minutes.  I kept wondering where Doug was. Finally I dried off, went to the lobby desk and asked for a room key, explaining, "I don't know where my husband went so I need another key please."


The young man pointed, "Here he comes."


Doug was wet and looked as exasperated as I did.  He'd waited for me most of that time in the OUTDOOR jacuzzi, then decided to return to our 11th floor condo in search of me. Only he took the wrong elevator and found himself in the South Tower on the wrong 11th floor. We stayed in the North Tower.  (I'll admit those elevators and floors do look alike, except for the room numbers!) Then he went to the lobby and asked the desk clerk if I'd been back there.  Doug didn't even realize there were indoor water features!

The mood was shot.  Had the whole blooming place to ourselves and lost each other! That was a first.


We laughed about it.  The next day.  I wrote my family about it.  The next week.


My niece, Christine, is my younger brother's daughter.  She wrote me about Ricky and Gwen sharing similar escapades this week:

Aunt K, Just have a moment between grading tests and book reports, but I HAD to email this to you before I forgot. Your "senior moment" with Uncle Doug at the beach reminded me... Last week, poor mom had a rough day. The five of us were in the car on the way to Chili's and she asked us, "Does anyone mind if we stop at Kohl's on the way back home? I bought some things there this afternoon and left one of my bags. I didn't realize it until I got home." We consented, and she went on: "I also had to go to the grocery store twice today! I forgot to scan my MVP card, and it was $30 more than it should be. I went back and they gave me the cash for the difference." Predictably, these confessions led right into a long tirade by dad teasing about how old and forgetful Mom was. She smiled like a good sport and took the heat as she usually does. Then she mentioned in passing, "I also need to go to Best Buy." "Why?" I wondered out loud. "I need to take back that movie Dad bought twice." So the bad news is that they both may be in a fog of dementia, but at least they're lost in there together! :) Christine

~     ~     ~

Another recent episode assures me that this forgetfulness is neither unique nor familial.  My Sunday school teacher, Ernestine, was about to start class with, "Ladies!  I need your attention.  I forgot to tell you something. Ladies!  Ladies!  I need to tell you something I forgot to mention."  She waited for the chatter to subside.


When all eyes were on her, she continued, "Oh shoot!  I forgot what I forgot!"


We know, Ernestine, we know.


Before I forget. . .HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Kathy, stuffed

LANGUAGE REVOLUTION

A friend and fellow blogger, Judy Puckett, found this and shared it.  The humor makes a valid point.  My love for words makes it irresistible.  So I pass it along for your enjoyment!

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in
plan that would become known as “Euro-English.”

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c.” Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k.” This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replased with “f.” This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful, and it should sertainly go away.

By the fourth yer people wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v.”

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis has mad you smil, ples pas on zis vebsit tu oza Amerikans an evn tu pepl in oza plezes.

~     ~     ~

Kathy here again.  This actually made me want to preserve our American heritage.  I can welcome immigrants while encouraging them to learn our language--English!


Now I smell something burning. . .oh my!  This blog just destroyed my Spell Check.  Spell Czech.

GOOD OL' SOUTHERN BOYS

It's 11:11, 11.11.11.  This won't happen again for. . .um, 12 hours!


"Southerners can fix anything with duck tape or WD-40.  If it moves and it's not supposed to, use duct tape.  If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40." 
                                                   -Anita Renfroe, comedeinne

There are some things, however, you'll never hear a good, ol' southern boy say.  Such as:

• When I retire I'm movin' north.
• I'll take Shakespeare for 1,000, Alex.
• Duct tape won't fix that.
• We don't keep firearms in this house.
• You can't feed that to a dog.
• No kids in the back of the pick-up.  It's just not safe.
• Wrestling is fake.
• We're vegetarians.
• Do you think my gut is too big?
• I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
• Honey, we don't need another dog.
• Who cares who won the Civil War? 

• Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
• I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
• Trim the fat off that steak.
• Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
• The tires on that truck are too big.
• Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
• I got it all on the C: DRIVE.
• Unsweetened tea tastes better.
• My fiance', Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
• She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
• Hey, here's an episode of Hee-Haw we haven't seen yet!
• Those shorts oughta' be a little longer, Betty Lou.
• I don't have a favorite college team.
• Sure, Honey, we can watch your chick flick.  I'll catch the game on reruns.
• We'll just pull over at that convenience store and ask for directions.
• You guys.
• I just love opera!
• Checkmate.

Now don't take offense.  It takes a southerner to earn the right to joke about southerners.  My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.  Yes, it's my tongue. . .not chewin' tobacco!

Granddaughter of 2 tobacco farmers,

Kathy

RESET MY SAILS

Jane Seymore's art design of open hearts

Today I'm opening my heart to you on a personal issue.  It's not that I need to have a true confessional moment so much as this fits my original purpose for blogging.


When I started writing I threw open the curtains to my life for several reasons:

• to preserve our family history and anecdotes
• to encourage others, often through humor or word plays
• to give glimpses of my spiritual journey, both successes and failures

Today that 3rd purpose reveals both a struggle and a gain in my own life.  It's embarrassing to share your weaknesses.  I'm part of a ladies' Bible study in which we do this weekly and find true bridges into each others' lives.  Raw honesty.  Being real. In a safe place.


This blog's had over 24,000 readers most of whom I'll never meet.  Safe place?  Maybe not.  But the value of my lesson is too important not to share.  Maybe it will help someone else.

But HOW?

I have a critical nature.  It doesn't always show but is often in my thinking.  I complain in my head a lot--against myself, others, a situation.  The targets are many.  Controlling those thoughts is vital to a happy life.  It's also very difficult. But I stumbled onto a simple solution.  It's working for me right now.


Soon as that first negative thought pops into my brain and I recognize it as a criticism, I shoot up an emergency silent prayer, "Lord, reset my sails."  


He does!

Before this, my pattern would be one critical thought linking to another and another so that within minutes I'd have an iron chain necklace of negative thoughts weighing me down. Mind you I may not have voiced a one out loud.  Yet. But my inner spirit stank! And sank!  Anyone relate?                                                                                                              







That little phrase, resetting my sails, came to me through a quote years ago.   

"A ship hauled into drydock for repairs can sail further and faster than ever.  Resetting the sails takes time but is necessary for navigation."

A little research into the phrase produced:

Abstract: An improved sail restraint for Migler's vertical axis wind turbine in which excessive wind speed automatically causes the sails to be feathered, protecting them from wind damage, and, when the wind speed is reduced to an allowable level, the improved sail restraint automatically allows the sails to be reset to their nonfeathered, working position.

OK.  What that means is. . .I have no idea.  TOO abstract for me! So a bit more research shed the layman light I needed:

 metaphor. The author is saying that we have to find out our real core values and then we can find ways to lead a fulfilled life, included finding out which career to follow or which activities to choose for our free time.
Then he goes:

"...first we choose to become value-driven and then zero-in on those values, which in turn can guide us to reset the sails of our lifeboat".

Lifeboat!  I get that metaphor. My complaining, critical thoughts could sink my lifeboat quickly when negative thinking spiraled down like an anchor.  For years I've prayed about this problem during my devotions.  

But recently I found a working application of that quote. I ask the Lord to show me the very second my thinking is wrong.  He does.  And I respond in that moment, "Lord, reset my sails."

You blew it again, Kathy!  Lord, reset my sails.

She hurt my feelings.       Lord, reset my sails.

Idiot driver!                     Lord, reset my sails.

Those kids are wild. . .  

  why don't parents discipline?  Lord, rest my sails.

For me, this was bringing every thought into captivity.  His captivity, not mine.  Like a squished spider, the thought stopped.  He replaced it immediately with good, true, pure thoughts.  My weakness became a canvas for His strength.  

Simple?  Yes.  It's my Bread crumb on life's journey and I share it with you.  In the parables of the lost coin, the lost sheep and the prodigal son, the one who found the treasure shared the news.  Why?  Because good news about a good God is for everyone.  

Maybe resetting your sails is a tool you need too!


On a lighter note I posted an extra Halloween blog below this week.  Enjoy!