A friend and fellow blogger, Judy Puckett, found this and shared it. The humor makes a valid point. My love for words makes it irresistible. So I pass it along for your enjoyment!
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in
plan that would become known as “Euro-English.”
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c.” Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k.” This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replased with “f.” This will make words like fotograf 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful, and it should sertainly go away.
By the fourth yer people wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v.”
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis, and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis has mad you smil, ples pas on zis vebsit tu oza Amerikans an evn tu pepl in oza plezes.
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Kathy here again. This actually made me want to preserve our American heritage. I can welcome immigrants while encouraging them to learn our language--English!
Now I smell something burning. . .oh my! This blog just destroyed my Spell Check. Spell Czech.