OUR church is in no way reflected in this blog. However, since moving to SC going on 13 years ago, we've learned a lot!
1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of!"
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir is known as the OK Chorale.
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized Wheeling washtub.
10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Baptismal washtubs double as part of your praise band.
15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs too.
16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear!"
1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of!"
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir is known as the OK Chorale.
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized Wheeling washtub.
10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ....
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Baptismal washtubs double as part of your praise band.
15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs too.
16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear!"
Brenda L. Bond (cousin):
ReplyDeleteKathy, #15 - I did not know they sold bubba teeth to dogs. Hope they don't show up at the next reunion to show them off.
11 hours ago ·
A friend warned me that if my pastor sees this, he's gonna run me over with his truck. Hm-mmm. . .Dr. Mike DOES own one. How about that combo--a PhD and a truck!
ReplyDelete