Thursday, February 17, 2011


With Valentine's Day this week comes my gift-blog to all the men trying to understand women.

Men, the following information is for you.  It's called the Woman's Dictionary.  It has to be factual because it came from the newspaper!  It explains what women really mean when they say:
  • Yes, they mean No.
  • No, they usually mean No.
  • Maybe always equates to No.
  • I'm sorry really means you'll be sorry.
  • We need, means I want.
  • It's your decision, means my correct decision should be obvious by now.
  • Do what you want means, you'll pay for this later.
  • We need to talk means, I need to complain.
  • Sure go ahead, is a dead ringer for I don't want you to.
  • I'm not upset, equals of course I'm upset, you moron.
  • I want new curtains, means I want new carpeting, furniture and wallpaper.
  • The kitchen is so inconvenient, means I want a new house.
  • I heard a noise, means I noticed you were almost asleep.
  • Do you love me? means I'm going to ask for something expensive.
  • How much do you love me? translates into I did something today you're going to hate.
  • I'll be ready in a minute, means kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
  • You have to learn to communicate, means just agree with me.
  • Are you listening to me? means it's too late, you're dead. 

If you're a woman reading this and you have a man, or a potential man, in your life, you may want to print this out for him.  They can't read our minds.  So be helpful!

For those who prefer more modern technological help, check this out:

The Manslater:     (Woman Language Translator)

Doug's helpmeet,


  1. Judy Combs Puckett wrote:

    Very cute...I can relate to a few of these..I tried to comment on the blog but couldn't find the link to click on.
    35 minutes ago · Like

  2. it's letting me in to post. I like this one...I'm sure Jim would enjoy it, but I hesitate to show him for fear he'll know what I'm thinking next time! ha