Friday, June 14, 2013


My love for language and puns is no secret. This blog is that. . .on steroids!

It may not be your cup of tea but I avoid cliches like the plague.  So I hope to make my message crystal clear.  Nothing comes from ambiguity.  What happens in vagueness stays in vagueness.  I think hyperbole is best and homonyms are a waist of thyme. 

Concerned about bad grammar, I recently asked a friend, "How do you feel about ignorance and apathy?"

She shrugged, "I don't know and I don't care."

Well I care!  I'm an English major.  You do the math.  I still believe the library is a great place to get checked out.  Spell Czech works.  Sum thymes.  But people really can't rely on that alone.  Knowing the rules is key, like I before E, except when spelling the alphabet correctly.  It's as simple as 3.141592. . .

The country was founded on higher education.  I still read the Constitution for the articles.  We've become conditioned to lower standards.  Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?  We need to upgrade our training so language makes sense. For example: I say tomato, you say tomato. (Doesn't make much sense when you read it.)

A good starting point is Hokey Pokey Anonymous, a place to turn yourself around.  I recommend we treat the problem with gravity because it's time to get down.

Excuses abound.  Too tired?  Use kinetic energy.  Pass it along.  Too fat? Thomas Aquinas wrote eloquently and he was the original deep fat friar. Minority?  Hobbits were Tolkien minorities but overcame. Hard of hearing? Beethoven, the original deaf jam, offered no excuses.

Wishing does nothing.  I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.  It hit me when I turned it all around. Palindromes are Rasemordnilap!

So I leave you with a challenge.  Share what you learned here today.  Don't be like the hedgehog.  Why can't they just share the hedge?  For the sake of humanity, let's learn our language, people!

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