Friday, June 21, 2013


Child #1: Sterilize the pacifier when it hits the floor.
Child #2: Rinse off the pacifier when it hits the floor.
Child #3: Blow on the pacifier when it hits the floor and cram it back in the gaping, wailing mouth!

I dropped my firstborn on her head at the mall.  Thought we'd both die. Neither did.  We both became survivors that day. 

Three teenagers under your roof will NOT kill you.  But you may want to kill them!  Don't. They bring you grandchildren one day, if they live long enough.

Boys are messy.  Drives you crazy but has no affect on them. You'll make it. Then his messiness will drive his wife crazy one day.  Pray she makes it too!

You can love your newborn deeply and still forget to pick her up from the nursery after church.  Everyone does that, right? Oh.  Just me I guess.

In the hospital, between labor and delivery, sometimes husbands faint.  Just keep on breathing and pushing.  You and God got this.  Let the nurses tend to him.  

After the birth, someone might bring you the wrong baby to nurse. So you do and THEN realize the little boy is not your little girl. It's OK.  But they never forget you at that hospital. And you get ALL the apple juice and attention you want after that!  

When your adolescent son asks you to pitch the baseball for him to practice, say, "Wait for Dad to get home."  I didn't and caught the ball with my face.  He's a good hitter.  I'm a lousy catcher.

When you rush to her bedroom to hold your child's head over the trash can in the darkness of night to catch the vomit, be sure she's OVER the trash can and not beside it. Always listen for a clear splat, not a quiet, muted carpeted sound.  Vomit turns pink-shag gray.

When same child cheerfully exclaims, "Mom! Come look at my Bible story!  Just like Nebuchadnezzar, the handwriting is on the wall!" believe her.  Permanent markers are not misnamed.

The first time you leave your teenager at home with clear instructions, "Do NOT open the door to anyone!" leave in your car, sneak back immediately and ring the doorbell then hide.  When she opens the door, forget your shopping trip.  She's not ready yet for home alone!

Our kids are fashioned by God, fearfully and wonderfully made!

On your worst parenting day, remind yourself. . .one day these children will grow up into wonderful, godly adults.  You'll like them as well as love them.  

For today though be sure your child
  • knows who he is
  • likes who he is
  • is who he is (being real) 

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