Mama's in heaven this Mother's Day. Her three children are here on earth. Remembering.
Ricky, the baby of us, recently wrote about her love and how she expressed it even in her final years. A stroke wracked her body and mind, yet did not impair her ability to love. Our sibling, extended family and friends' responses below his post reveal this rich heritage. Mama still nurtures, comforts and loves us through these times of sharing family memories. Even on facebook!
Here we share our family's heart with you:
My brother and sister and I took care of my mother in our homes after Dad died. Mom had a stroke and was dependent upon someone to get her up each morning, fix her meals, and take her to the bathroom. She was confined to a wheelchair. Each of us took care of Mom for well over a year and a half before it got to the point we needed some relief. We thought that Mom had no idea of the strain that it caused each of our own families to provide that level of personal care; she did not need to know. We were all three raised to love and honor our parents so it was never a question of what we were going to do.
But then she had another stroke and now the level of care required more than family could give; she needed a nurse at times. It came to the point we had to put her in a rest home. We all felt… well, guilty. We had cared for her for five and a half years and we had tried and tried to avoid putting her in a rest home. We knew that she preferred to be with us and we preferred to have her with us.
Upon my third or fourth visit with her in the rest home, we had talked for over an hour together when there was a lull in our conversation. Mom looked over at me, put her wrinkled hand on my arm and said, “I want you to know that when you are not here, I don’t grieve for you.”
Her words caught me off-guard. The word “grieve” hit me hard. I looked into her clear, blue eyes. What was she trying to say? We all knew that she loved her new friends and she was so much happier than we had expected her to be.
She did not want me to worry about any trial that she might be undergoing and she was letting me know she loved me. Everything was okay.
Even at 83 years old, parents can still love their children in a most wonderful way.
But then she had another stroke and now the level of care required more than family could give; she needed a nurse at times. It came to the point we had to put her in a rest home. We all felt… well, guilty. We had cared for her for five and a half years and we had tried and tried to avoid putting her in a rest home. We knew that she preferred to be with us and we preferred to have her with us.
Upon my third or fourth visit with her in the rest home, we had talked for over an hour together when there was a lull in our conversation. Mom looked over at me, put her wrinkled hand on my arm and said, “I want you to know that when you are not here, I don’t grieve for you.”
Her words caught me off-guard. The word “grieve” hit me hard. I looked into her clear, blue eyes. What was she trying to say? We all knew that she loved her new friends and she was so much happier than we had expected her to be.
She did not want me to worry about any trial that she might be undergoing and she was letting me know she loved me. Everything was okay.
Even at 83 years old, parents can still love their children in a most wonderful way.
This is from my daughter-in-love, Mary.
ReplyDeleteKent & Mary Henderson to me
show details 9:00 PM (9 minutes ago)
THAT was precious in this world…thanks for sharing.
I LOVE YOU because of your sense of humor and ability to laugh at life and with life! Proverbs 31:25b is you!!!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!!
Love,
Mary
From Marilyn Pritchard:
ReplyDeleteKathy,
After I sent the previous email I remembered something I should have told you. While your mother was at Bert and Dianne's, I stayed with her a couple Sunday nights a month so B & D could go to Sunday night services. She was such a joy to be with. I felt honored to be able to spend time with her.
I'd take a video once in a while for us to watch. Ever so often I would stop it and ask if she understood what they were saying. Usually the answer was, "No." So I explained what was happening and what was being said and she got so much more out of the video than if we'd played it straight through.
I remember the famous trio of Katherine Tippett, Katherine and Geneva Harris. I would have loved to have known them about 15-20 years earlier. I bet they were a riot. Katherine and Geneva lived down the street, across Murphy Road from my apartment with the special landlady.
Rabbit Trail: One of my favorite of her sayings was always uttered right after the time change in the fall. "It gets late so early now." Then she would add, "Oh, you know what I mean," and grin. She was a neat little lady.
Tell Trudy I said hello.
Your blog has the potential to influence a lot of people in many ways. Keep writing!
Marilyn
P.S. Thanks for adding me to your reminder list.