OUR FINAL MOVE BEFORE HEAVEN

Doug and I are moving soon to a retirement community in Laurinburg, NC.  After over 21 years ministering here in Florence, SC, at Greenwood Baptist Church, it's a huge step in a new direction.  New steps in ANY direction can be a challenge at our age!

http://www.scotiavillage.org/



"Why in the world did you decide to do this?"

"Why did you choose to go there?"

"How are you feeling about this move?"

We hear these questions almost weekly.  Let me answer them and share a bit of our journey.



This is home.  We had no plans to retire and move.  God DID have plans for that, however.  Mama used to remind me, "God has no intention to keep His will a secret from us."  

He also knows I can be hard of listening, so He speaks my language and repeats Himself for clarity and reassurance to ADD me. Our choice is not for everyone but He has shown us what is right for us.  Family will not have to yard sale our stuff.  We did that!  They won't have to sell our house.  Waiting on that buyer now. They won't have to be our care-givers.

One of my love languages is food, especially steak.  So when Trudy Miles called with, "Hey, Kathy!  Just got an invitation to Victor's Restaurant for a free dinner.  Want to go?" she already knew my answer because it's something we do often.  Reaching a certain age comes with perks.  One of those is an upgrade to spiels.  So we go, never buying anything, but for free food!  Doug and Donnie often join us but this day they golfed while we dined.

That was 3 years ago and God's first whisper of His plans for us.  A second invitation from the Scotia Village folks took us there for an overnight visit, again not intending to buy into anything.  "Doug, it'll be a nice get-away."  So we went.  Were very impressed as we toured.  They have 250 residents, ranging from living in 3 bedroom homes to nursing care.    

When Norm, the sales manager, left the room to crunch our numbers, I whispered, "Doug, this is when he comes back in and gently asks us to leave, not being qualified."  We giggled, waiting.

Norm returned and told us we were more than qualified.

Thus, began our consideration of a possibility not even on our scope.

It's a bit embarrassing to admit freebies were our hook.  God got our attention.

Why?

This is a gift to our own children.  They are all happily willing to take care of us in our old age.  We 3 siblings gladly took care of Mama after Daddy died.  So we know what that means.  Having the choice allows us to take that responsibility off them, while still enjoying their visits as family, not care-givers.

The kids' first look at Scotia Village and our future there last July

Standing in our soon-to-be living room

Florence friends largely are surrounded by their family.  We are not.  Ours are scattered from Canada to Florida.  Moving to NC puts us closer to one of them, Kent, a minister of music in Kinston, NC.  We began our ministry there fresh out of college.  So it's a full circle season.  

Kingdom work is wonderful but comes with Sunday responsibilities not allowing us to be with family during many holidays.  Our kids are also in ministry.  So we spend Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter alone.  NOW we can visit them freely.  We can see our grands' special school events, attend our kids' church services, take trips with my brother and wife, Ricky and Gwen.

Ricky and Gwen with us on the Alaskan cruise

Last week Kimberly called, "Mom!  We just bought a house! Why don't you and Daddy fly down for Thanksgiving with us?"  We bought plane tickets to Tampa the very next day.

So many things we do and enjoy are becoming burdensome, like lawn care, cooking, cleaning.  This will be done for us at Scotia Village.  Our daily questions will go from "What do I need to do today?" to "What do I want to do today?"

We will continue to minister to others.  How God will guide in that is yet to be seen.  Opportunities abound. We will have purpose. We still have our gifts of hospitality, teaching and music.  So we've already scheduled THREE Open House events to sing and enjoy friends, new and old.  Not having room for both pianos, I donated my childhood one to Scotia.  I suspect I will visit it and play it occasionally for events there.

God's given special friends to help us in this move.  What a blessing they are to share in our joy and help us in the planning and preparation!

Sandra Dail has guided my decorating choices
and helped so much in decluttering!

Bobby and Phyllis Parker celebrated our 50th with us. 
They were there on our wedding day as well!

Phyllis gets her first look at our villa (2 bedroom duplex)
about to undergo renovation!

CHANGE.  That word scares old folks like us generally.  But Doug and I are learning to embrace it.  Why?  Because God made His will, plan, timing and means abundantly clear.  We are called.  Just as we have been in every other move of life for over 50 years in church ministry.  A lot is unknown.

"Do you know anyone there?"

"Met a few but no, not really."

"What church will you attend?"

"Not sure yet.  We'll enjoy visiting a lot.  I'll sit on a pew instead of the piano bench for awhile!  God will let us know."

"What will you do?"

"We have so many choices--educationally, in hobbies, ministry, recreational activities, Bible studies, clubs,  trips, etc.  I know we won't be bored.  God will let us know."  

I've already looked into a creative writing class at the college next door.  I can walk to St. Andrews University!  Doug is considering painting again with an artist who is also a resident and owns her own gallery there.

A little phrase in the most familiar chapter in the Bible took on new meaning to us:



ALL the days of my life.  Looking back, it has!  So we know it will!  That little word follow does not mean gently like a little puppy dog trailing us.  In Hebrew it means pursuing us with a passion, like hounding or chasing after us to give us good things, show us mercy!

It will be our last move.  Sometimes I tell close friends, "We're going there to die." Actually we have a lot of living to do and this frees us up to enjoy it. Hopefully death won't be too soon but more than likely, this WILL be our last move until glory.  God's got that covered too, in His time.  I don't have to pack for that one!  We're all ready for it. . .whenever He calls one or both of us.



I've got free food waiting there too!  A banquet table!  Just waiting on that call as well.

Ready when He is!

ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF

1.    Slow your pace. Life’s a marathon, not a sprint.  Jesus never hurried or worried. Greet people by name.  It’s people over our projects.  People ARE our ministry, not just a means of doing it. This creates patience.

2.    Savor the moments.  “God is a light to our path, not a GPS for the journey.”  .”  Duties never conflict.  “Order my steps, in Your Word, O Lord.”

3.    Don’t be a complainer.  “Sit on the pity pot, but don’t stay there long enough to get ring-around-the-hiney.”  Nobody wants to be around a whiney-butt.            Secret:  Think thanks.  An attitude of gratitude comes from a heart focused on Jesus.  “I have learned in whatever state I am to be content.” JOY is the by-product of a thankful heart.

4.    Your story is not complete. We know how it ends. We’ve read the Book, even the last chapter!  So praise God even now, IN the storm.  People notice.  Be sure they notice HIM more than you or your trials.  Seek the kingdom FIRST and foremost.  Balance life.

5.    Keep eternity in mind.  The Sweet By and By helps us live in the Nasty Now and Now.  “Far better. . .”  Phil. 1:23 Paul was torn. “It is better to depart; it is far better to be with Christ.”  Today’s circumstances and choices will be different if we remember we are citizens of another place, only ambassadors here. God plants eternity in our hearts.

6.    Radiate Jesus, in word, in deed and continually.  “Whether you eat or drink. . .”  Don’t subdivide yourself into spiritual, secular, emotional, intellectual.  He created you, whole. Be real. “To thine own self be true.” (Shakespeare)  Just be you and let Him shine through.

7.    “Never sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate.”  (Dr. Bob Jones, Sr.) Sometimes the project or the TO Do List causes us to miss HIS interruptions.  Those blasted interruptions become blessed interruptions if we allow His daily plan.

8.    Listen. REALLY listen.  They may not even need your advice.  Don’t always try to be Mr. Fix It.  Sometimes all your spouse, child or friend needs is just to be heard, seen, understood. That’s love. “Husbands, love your wives with understanding.” LIFEtime job! Hearing is not always listening,

9.    Find stillness, quietness every day.  It may be in your car before going inside.  Let go and let God.  It may be in your bed, before you open your eyes.  Breathe Him in, release yourself. Dr. Mike Gay prays before rising, “Lord, help me know You better and love You more today.”  God speaks in silence.  Be STILL and know.

10.  Embrace change.  “No one likes change except a baby with a dirty diaper, and even he will cry about it.”  Every living thing changes.  Only dead things don’t move. So don’t fear trying something new nor failing.  GROW, STRETCH, LEARN.  Everyone needs a Barnabas to encourage us and a Timothy to mentor.  So teach but remain teachable.   Be a sponge.  Soak up, then wring yourself out.

KATHY ON DEATH

KATHY ON SEX DEATH

Now that's a title absolutely no one wants to read.  I should have called it "Kathy on Sex" then everyone would at least peek.

In the last week we heard of the death of a high school classmate and a college friend, both woman.  Somehow when the obits are your contemporaries, you glance over your shoulder for the grim reaper.

In ministry we are well acquainted with funerals.  A local funeral home calls on me to play for people who have no church nor musician.  I've heard countless eulogies.  I don't fear death but I am afraid of the process.  

As I age, my body reminds me I'm moving to the front of the line into the pearly gates.  Any day above ground is a good day.  As a Christian I know that heaven is far better.

So I ponder how I want to face these years which may hold suffering, sickness eventually death.  Here are a few points that guide me:

1. God planted eternity in my heart.  So I lift my head above this world and keep heaven in view.  It changes how I face today's circumstances.  Newscasts upsetting?  "In the last days perilous times shall come. . ."  He warned us.  Look up!

2. Life is a vapor.  I am consumed with living, not dying.  I savor, cherish each day, my friends, good times, every moment as a gift.  Live life abundantly!

3. God is preparing a place for me.  He's also preparing me for that place.  So I allow my mind to imagine a new home, a grand welcoming, peace and health unending in God's glorious presence.  I also allow Him to chip away at my character, carving out His image more clearly.

4. Signs of aging speak to me.  Aching joints, loss of energy, wrinkles, gray hair. . .all remind me that I am a soul with a body, not a body with a soul.  Focus on the eternal.  Lord, deliver me from becoming a whining old lady!

You can sit on the pity pot

but don't stay there long enough to get

ring-around-the-hiney!

5. Cancer.  That's the big one we all fear.  But whatever diagnosis, accident or illness comes my way, I choose to think of it as my chariot to heaven.  Something has to take me there.  Sure I'd love to go like Enoch but that's not going to happen.  So even now I tell myself to get ready, see it as a means, not an end.  Death will be the beginning of what I was created for.

6. Hold loosely the gifts God has given me, whether things or people.  Hold tightly to the Giver.  As we declutter our home, we also declutter our lives.  I choose to focus on what's truly valuable.  

Nothing amazing in my thoughts on death but I want my thoughts and choices to be His.

SIMPLE WAYS TO DE-STRESS

My guest blogger today is Ann Voscamp.  I actually took two days to really ponder. . .SAVOR these 25 ideas from her.  Many of them are already part of my routine.  


Several years back I let God change me. . .from Type A to B, from hurry-worry-scurry to slower paced, from yakking to silence.  Even the way I walk or eat has changed.  Stress is not as present, though it still makes attempts to bash my door down.  

These are some ideas that helped me de-stress rather than become distressed!  If you're too busy to read them now, then wait!  Don't scan.  Come back later and digest them.  Invite God into your routine.

Crazy, Stressed Days Need This Life Plan: A Manifesto to Stay Sane

So I’m a mess and we’re all failures — at least all the honest of us are.

And the truth is, no one ever runs before they take baby steps. 

So I scratch down these 25 points, like my own sanity manifesto, and there are a thousand different ways in a thousand seasons to make a life glorify God.

1. First things first: Word in. Work out. Work plan.

Open your eyes every morning and just do three first:

Word in: Get into God’s Word and let it get into you.
Work out: Work out. Even  5 minutes of moving is better than nothing. (baby steps! together we can do this!)
Work plan: Write out the work plan. And then work the plan.

2. “What a heart knows by heart is what a heart knows”

Write your memory verses on a sticky note, on a chalkboard, for your pocket.

Because when you are memorizing Scripture, quiet time with the Lord — becomes all the time. (Who doesn’t want that?)

3. Flame first.

Light a candle first thing in the morning.

So you remember: You are the light that is put on a stand so that it gives light to everyone in the house.

4. Your work is art: it needs a soundtrack.

Find your music.

Play your music.

Sing your music. This is profound.

Vincent van Gogh said: “When sailors have to move a heavy load or raise an anchor, they all sing together to keep them up and give them vim. That’s just what artists lack.”

5. Step on the Snake Before Breakfast

Before breakfast, crush one hard thing that is tempting you to think there are impossible things.

Before breakfast, crush that one thing and prove that all things are possible with God.

6. Stay in the pool

Michael Phelps said it in an interview: “You’ve just got to stay in the pool longer than others.”

Set the timer. Get in the pool. Stay in the pool. Do your work. Don’t get distracted. Don’t flit from one thing to another and back.

Don’t get out of the pool, don’t leave your work, until the timer goes. The way to win is to stay in the pool.

7. Clean a space = clear headspace

Keeping the workspace clean, clears your headspace to think.

8. Go Slow. Life Zone. Life isn’t an Emergency: It’s a gift.

Life isn’t an emergency. It’s a gift.

Life’s so extraordinary it warrants going slow, held in reverential awe.

Only the slow see their lives. Which makes it seem longer and richer.

9. Make Laughter Your Chocolate

The more you laugh, the longer you live. You can’t afford not to laugh more. Make laughter your chocolate.

10. No songs without rhythm

Every song needs a rhythm; every week needs a routine. Tie certain tasks to a day or another activity.

Always memorize after breakfast or always make a double batch of soup on Saturday.

Your life makes music when you play a string of tasks always together.

11. On 25, Take 5

For every 25 minutes “in the pool” working – take 5 minutes off. Live by pomodoros. Really. Life-changing.

12. Unplug to plug into your purpose

Only if you want to plug into peace and purpose and your big picture – then unplug for certain hours everyday.

Constant connectivity effects productivity like a marijuana high.

13.Watch Your Nos & Your Yeses will take Care of Themselves

Everything you say yes to, you say no to something else.

Are your yeses forcing you to say no to what really want to say yes to?

Don’t have guilt over a no – because every no is saying a better yes.

14. Daily Stillness Appointment

When is your 5 minute stillness appointment everyday?

Write that midday time in stone. No cancellations allowed. For 5 minutes midday, be still and cease striving.

Know He is God and the day looks very different.

Slow down: You only pass by this way once.

15. If the Heaven’s Declare, get out there.

The whole of the sky and the world is speaking endlessly of His glory.

When you step outside and listen, your soul revives. You need that.

You really need one walk outside a day. Even it’s just out the door to get the mail or walk the dog around the block or a walk around the yard before you have to get in the car.

16. Work on your Wall before Noon

Like Nehemiah who worked on rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, build your wall, building whatever God has uniquely called you to — a particular work project, a creative project, homeschooling, homemaking, a ministry. Everyday before noon, work on your wall, laying down 3 stones before noon.

If you don’t intentionally work on your wall, the tyranny of the urgent can make your life a rubble heap.

17. Envision the End Goal

Like God gave Abraham a vision of the stars of the sky and told him he would have that many children, hang up a picture so you always have a vision of your goal.

18. Everyday, not Every Now and Then

Random acts of greatness pale in comparison to habitual acts of faithfulness.

It’s not what you do every now and then, but what you do everyday, that changes everything. 

Do something at the same time everyday and you find yourself a new person.

19. Hard Stops

The only way to get anywhere safely is to make complete stops.

Make hard, complete stops at set times throughout the day to pray. Otherwise you’re risking a crash.

9, 12, 3, on the hour, might be times to set an a gentle, chime alarm for – and just stop and pray.

Praying at set times throughout the day is how both Jesus and the early church lived their days: God marking time.

20. The Holy, Happiness Habit {Count Gifts}

Write down 3 things a day you are grateful for. Hunt for His glory. Look for the beauty. Count 1000 gifts.

All research says that giving thanks is guaranteed to make you 25% happier. Who. Doesn’t. Want. That.?

Thank Him for this is definitely God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Take the Joy Dare! Make right where you are your happy place.

21. Ebenezers for the Efforts

Mark little milestones! Celebrate! The little things!

A treat at the end of the day, end of the week, end of the project, end of the term.

Hang a bunting. Taste something sweet. Take a happy, thumbs up picture to mark your progress!

Make an album of a year, of the process, of the overcoming.

22. Father Affirmations

You need these everyday. Whisper them aloud, who you really are if you are IN Christ:

I am complete in Christ. Colossians 2:9-10
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. Hebrews 4:14-16
I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:1-2
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. Romans 8:28
I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. Romans 8:31-39
I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. Philippians 1:6
I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

23. Breathe

Breathing in and breathing out like this will radically change the quality of your life. Breathe.

24. Hard and Bad Day? Hot Bath

An evening routine of a hot bath at the end of the hard and bad days?

Yes.

25. Rest so you can have the rest of God.

Sleep is more than your friend — it’s your God-given fuel.

Tomorrow always begins with the night before, so turn in early so tomorrow can turn out well.

 

CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MOMS AND KIDS

Our daughter, Katy, shared these gems awhile back.

"Andrew, quit licking the wall.
Caleb, now you quit licking the wall."

Good thing they quit licking the wall or they could grow up and land on a porch video like this creepy guy!

Another day Katy had a conversation with her middle son. "David, spit that rock out of your mouth." 

David, Caleb and Andrew

"Mom, I drank some water and the rock in my mouth went down into my brain and then came up again."

"Well, that's a good reason not to put rocks in your mouth."

Maybe that's how it begins for hard heads.  Notice she's wise enough not to use logical anatomy at this point in his young life.



Katy doesn't remember which of her six heard her say, "Sweetie, take the bag off your head.  You're gonna' suffocate yourself!"  But she still has six kids so apparently he or she listened and obeyed.  We're thankful.

James, the baby, was about three when he awkwardly donned one of his brother's backpacks. "I go to school, Mama!"  

Katy informs him, "No, you can't go to school.  You poop in your pants."  Sound reasoning from an expert diaper changer.  She's gleefully past that stage now.  He's five and poops in the potty!

So we occasionally get girl time now days!  Even got our nails did.

The stories in her husband's family go back to his childhood and his grandparents. Dave's Opa warned Oma, who was shelling peas, "Now don't let those boys put peas up their nose."  

Later in the day she told him he shouldn't have given them the idea because they did!  They retrieved nose peas from all but one boy.  Later he had to go to the doctor to get his pea removed.  It had sprouted!

Our firstborn daughter, Kimberly, has amazing discussions too. Her son, Blake, wanted to be trusted to stay home alone like his big brother, J. D. 

THE TEST CONVERSATION:

"Blake, what would you do if someone came to the door?"

After his thoughtful pause, remembering his mother's gift of hospitality, he chirped, "I'd say 'Come in!' . . .Oh!  And I'd serve snacks."

Seeing his mother's horrified face, he expounded, "I mean heathy snacks, Mom, like carrots!"  

He smiled proudly.

Her eyes enlarged.  

His smile disappeared instantly.

Blake, pondering what he'd forgotten, finally added, "Oh yeah!  And I'd introduce myself too."

Both boys grew up and became gentlemen who know when to introduce themselves, when to answer the door and when to hug Nana.











I ran a similar test on Kimberly, maybe ten at the time.  She wanted to stay home with her younger brother and sister, while I shopped with Mama and my sister-in-law, Gwen.  So I drilled her on when to answer the phone, who to call in case of various emergencies, what to say or do in certain situations, and to NEVER answer the door.

THE TEST

"OK, we're going shopping, Kimberly.  Remember the rules."

"I know, Mom, I know," said the know-it-all.

So we drove off but I decided to circle the block. I stopped a few houses away and snuck onto our porch.  As I rang the doorbell, I prayed she wouldn't answer.

She answered.  

She flung the door wide open to hear, "KIMBERLY RUTH HENDERSON!"

"Well, Mom, I figured it was you.  I was right."  She always is!

Mama and Gwen shopped without me that day.

Now days Kimberly and I love to shop together and include her daughter, Elizabeth.

Kimberly, Elizabeth and Nana at Tanger in Myrtle Beach, carrying on the family tradition

My conversations with Kimberly were interesting even when she was a toddler.   I was trying to pay bills but Miss Chatter Chin* bombarded me with questions and interruptions.  Losing patience, I looked up and prayed aloud, "Lord, please make her be quiet!"

Not losing a beat, she too looked up pleading, "Lord, please let me talk."

"He said I could, Mom!"

How do you trump God?

"Why do you ask so many questions, child?"

"Cause that's how ya' learn stuff, Mom."

I was being a good mother on this day.

She is a smart cookie.  Still!  And an excellent speaker.

* I remember a poem from THE JOLLY JINGLE BOOK called “Chatter Chin.” It goes something like this:

Everyday when I come in, I hear my little chatter chin.
     Chatter this and chatter that, first the dog and then the cat.
Yarns she picked up from the cook, stories from her fairy book,
     Questions wiser than she knows, how the honeysuckle grows.
Why the firefly has light, why the moon comes out at night,
     What keeps birds up in the air, what makes people have red hair.
I give up when you begin, little chatter, chatter chin!