Thursday, October 7, 2010


This is the beginning of the blog.

I call it randomness because it is. I have no idea or thought about what's coming out of my fingers next. I've also had no coffee. I woke up thinking I need to write a post but had no ideas.

Today I also have no repairmen here. You think it strange to say that but it's the first time in about one and half weeks my garage has not had several. So along with no coffee, no ideas and no servicemen, I also have no termites. Well technically I do. But today they're all dead. Supposedly. You gotta trust Terminex, like you gotta trust your mechanic. Even if you don't fully trust. "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief."

Last evening I interviewed a parent who came to sign up his 7-year old daughter for piano. I'm full but Phyllis had one opening. Somewhere in the middle of it, after a long day teaching, I told him, "I love little children. Monday and Tuesday. But if I saw another one on Wednesday I might hurt little children. That's why I hired Mrs. Parker." Did I say that out loud?

He laughed. Whew.

He's Taiwanese and sometimes my humor goes completely awry between me and Asians. It's not always the language barrier. He's a medical doctor and very adept at English. But the cultural differences don't always appreciate my style. It just slipped out. Oh, I've said it before. Just not usually to parents considering bringing their children to my house weekly. But he laughed.

"Mrs. Parker can love children here on Fridays and she'll love yours." Now that I think about it Phyllis can only love them one day and Trudy half that! Maybe I'm not so bad after all. It is an age thing though. I used to love kids three days a week but you learn your limits.

Last night after that interview I heard myself misspeak and ask Doug, "Honey, would you please bring me a bowl for speed sitting?" He knew exactly what I'd meant to say. He gets me, spoonerisms and all. I was eating grapes so you figure it out.

This is the middle of the blog.

Coffee's coming along. So is this. Aptly named Randomness.

Someone said, "Efficiency would be pouring your coffee directly into the toilet." But I love me some caffeine. And direct infusion just wouldn't taste the same.

When I woke up with no idea what to write, several old lines popped into my head:

A job begun is a job half done.
The hardest step of any journey is the first.
Little by little, inch by inch,
By the yard it's hard. By the inch, what a cinch!
Never stare at the stairs, just step up the steps.
Little by little, inch by inch.

Well, that took up six lines. And YOU'RE still here. You need a life!

So do I. I also need my coffee in order to be coherent! I drink nearly a pot a day. Did so even before they exclaimed it to be medically good for you. Helps prevent something--maybe cancer and Alzheimer's. I forget.

Oh, remember I said repairMEN? Plural? I just remembered. Now we have a garage door that opens again. Lately it started acting like a teenager. You'd press the remote, telling it to, "Go." It might. Or might not. Often it just sat there or gaped there, doing nothing. Other times it would start to do its job but quit halfway through. I'd be backed almost to the street and it'd be halfway to the ground. We'd have to start all over. Like a teenager.

It was "a broken spring, ma'am." A big one. So they replaced both springs. Even though only one was broken. "That's the way we do the job," the boss told Doug. "Because the other one is gonna break too." Who knew garage door repairmen were also your psychic friends? But you gotta trust them too. Free enterprise and the American way I think.

Do all women take off everything when they step on the home scales to weigh? I'm just asking, not confessing. OK. Well it is a confession. Sometimes I even take off my earrings! And I've been known to exhale BIGTIME just before stepping on them. I got some scales from a doctor's office when they went digital. Mine are the kind with weights you ever so gently tap into accuracy. I wanted accuracy. So I thought. Not sure I trust them either. But you can adjust them I understand. Never done that yet but it's nice to know there is a way to weigh and cheat, after the chocolate indulgence. An option.

Do all women automatically throw both those little scale weights to the left before descending? Even Doug doesn't know my true weight. And he won't! He'd announce it to the whole church. Being an expert on the obvious, I learned.

"Thoughts disentangle themselves
as they pass through the lips
or the fingertips."

These may not. But I told you so in the title. If you know me, you also know I'm not a morning person. It's morning. My caffeine is just kicking in but I'm throwing in the towel. (See? Normally I'd never use two clich├ęs in one sentence.)

Ah! Ready for my second coff of cuppie. This blog wasn't so hard after all. For me. Maybe it was harder for you. I'm not even putting pictures in this one. Use your imagination to color my world. I suggest fushia and lime green.

Marilyn Pritchard, my friendly editorial assistant, has her work cut out for her on this one! However, I think editing may cancel out randomness. So just join me for some coffee, Marilyn. You're really slumming to come from Contact magazine down to me anyway. Am I your charity case? You'll get a reward in heaven for this.

This is the end of the blog.

Thankfully, as are you,


  1. This pretty much sums up how I feel in the mornings too, Kathy. Unfortunately, I'm at work... which means I probably scare a lot of my coworkers! xoxo

  2. Kimberly GraingerMarch 29, 2011 at 9:48 PM

    Elizabeth giggled as we read this together. "Randomness really has random moments. And that was one of them," so says your first granddaughter. Keep guzzling caffeine, Ma.