THE FICKLE FINGER OF FLEETING FAME

(Try saying that fast five times!)

"Hey, Mom! Guess what? I'm gonna be at the music conference with you and Dad this year."

"Really, Kent? That's great! You're gonna love it."

Both father and son serve as ministers of music and Kent's new call was back to the south where he was born in Kinston, NC. His first ministry was with a church in Michigan so we were all enjoying living closer together. Sharing this conference was a cherry on top!

We spent several days together sight-reading music from all the big, Christian publishers. Large packets of new music beside us, we sang with 1,500 other musicians. Quite a jubilant choir! Kent's tenor rang over my soprano and Doug's bass as we got a good feel for the harmony of each piece. Our music landed in two piles, the rejects growing taller than the to-consider stack. Workshops filled the gaps between reading sessions.

Steve Green was the evening's guest singer. His music and strong family message were not wasted on this audience.

After service we got in line to meet him.

"What's that in your hand, Kathy?" Doug asked.

"Oh, just something for Steve," I tried to play it off.

"What, Mom?" Kent continued the harassment.

I knew they'd both disapprove but gave in. "OK. I'll tell you but don't try to talk me out of it."

They both looked scared.

I continued, "You know, he announced that he'll be in Raleigh tomorrow night, right?"

"Right?" they said in unison with an upward inflection, ensuring it was still a question in their minds.

"And you both know Katy will be at that concert, right?"

"Right?" they echoed, agreeing that their daughter/sister would be at Raleigh Memorial Auditorium with Steve Green and about a thousand others.

"Well, I got an idea. I wrote her this note and attached a dollar bill to it." I unfolded the paper. They peered and read silently:

Dear Katy,

I forgot to give you money for Steve's concert.

So put this in the offering. And be GOOD!

Love,

Mama

"Kathy! You're not. . ." Doug's wasted words flowed as Kent rolled his eyes, knowing it was hopeless.

"Yes, I am! Listen. Steve may actually think it's funny enough to call her name out. He's not got a lot of schtick and might need a humorous hook. With a real dollar bill on the note, he CAN'T just toss and forget it. So I figure if he takes if from me in a minute, it just might work."

"It won't work, Honey," Mr. Sunshine encouraged.

"Mom, you're crazy," Kent stated the obvious.

As we neared Steve, they took a few steps back from me, to guarantee adequate space between us in line.

"Mr. Green," I gushed, "we so enjoyed your music tonight. I especially appreciate your strong family values." (He'd even phoned his wife while on stage.)

He smiled, "Thank you."

"Since you know the importance of family, I wonder if you might help me with mine."

He looked serious and sincerely concerned as he leaned closer to me.

I spoke more softly as I handed him the folded piece of paper, "Tomorrow night our daughter will be at your Raleigh concert. I forgot to give her money for the offering. Would you please give this to her? It'll come back to you," I winked.

He grinned, nodded and took the note with a, "Yes ma'am."

The two dumb sheep behind me robotted through the line, still embarrassed. On the way to the car Kent said, "It'll never work, Mom. You just wasted a dollar." Mr. Sunshine, Jr!

Maybe. I didn't even tell Katy what I'd done.

We all pretty much forgot about it until the following night when we returned to our motel. Kent was watching TV on one bed. Doug stretched out to read, beside me on the other bed. The phone rang. I answered.

It was Katy screaming into the phone so loudly that Doug and Kent could hear her when I pulled the phone away from my ear, "AAAAAKKKKK! MAMA, MAMA, MAMA! Oh, Mama! You're so crazy! SteveGreencalledmynamefromthestagetonight! At the end of his concert he said, 'Last night we were with 1,500 music directors in SC and one of them sent a message to her daughter here tonight. So if Katy Henderson will come to the stage and see me after we dismiss, I'll give it to you.'"

Kent did a back flip from the bed to the floor. Doug's grin stretched out as his eyebrows arched up to his hairline.

Katy had enjoyed her moment of fame.

Her friends ushered her through the crowd with loud pomp, "Ex-cuuuuuse us! Katy Henderson coming through! This is THE Katy Henderson to see Mr. Green!" Steve laughed with her as she read my note but he wouldn't take the dollar back. I wonder if she kept it.

We all kept the memory. It was worth a dollar.

Memorably,

Kathy

CAROLINA DREAMIN'

On such a winter's day, I'm looking out over the Atlantic Ocean in South Carolina's beautiful Myrtle Beach. Dreamin'. (I wrote this in January. Doug and I are right back here again today, celebrating our 41 years together.)

Our small group Bible study, One Month to Live, raised a question, "When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?" That's easy. It was singular and unchanging. To be a wife and mother. Playing dolls was my practice run.

It wasn't until I brought our firstborn home from the hospital that I realized my training may have been insufficient.

"Doug! What if I lose my grip on Kimberly's soapy, little body?" I feared out loud. Do all new mothers visualize their babies going down the drain? Literally? Don't answer that. I did.

Kimberly not going down the drain despite her new mother's fears!

Doug had more actual experience helping rear three younger sisters. So he was more secure holding slippery, naked babies. He helped me a lot in those early days as my confidence grew along with the children.

When we're young or old, we have time to dream. Between that, however, I lived my dream and had little time for more dreaming. The expression "putting your dreams on hold" covered about 25 years.

An empty nest finally prompts the question again, "What do you dream of becoming?" As a child I never got beyond motherhood. That dream was fulfilled. Now what? It felt indulgent at first to figure out who I was again in my 50's. My identity could not be solely as a mother. What were my passions, my desires, my abilities and experiences leading to now? Do I still have dreams?

It took some time to see God still had plans for me. "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." (Jer.29:11.) It was not always about a big future like we think when we're younger. David reminded me in Psalm 139:16 that "All the days for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Who wrote that daily planner for me? God! As I look at the sand on the beach, I'm reminded in the next verse, "How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand."

Wow! God thinks about me all the time. He planned my days before I was born and wants to fulfill my dreams and desires.

Part of my post-motherhood journey was in a class I now teach at church about discovering who you are. It calls for looking back over your life in segments, beginning with childhood.

I'm in my 60's so this feels pointless. But if I ask others to do it, then I need to myself.

As I filled out the information, it clarified my call to teach and more specifically having the gift of influence. My joy comes from seeing others learn and soar. Of course teaching piano does that. But I was asked to recall from my childhood various times I influenced others. I thought of three.

#1

My friend's name was Valerie Jean Skinner but we called her Pug. She had a cute turned up nose, long red pigtails and was much younger than I. I was in second grade, she in first.

"Pug, did you know the water in your toilet is the very same as what comes out at the sink?"

"No-oooo...really, Kathy?"

"Really! You could drink it, ya know. It's the same water!"

"You sure?" her nosed turned up a bit more than usual.

"Sure! Go ahead, Pug, dip that cup in the toilet and drink it...it tastes the very same!"

She did it!

Now all these years later, I'm ashamed. Maybe I really didn't think she'd do it. But she did!

#2

Another day at Pug's house, her mother (my first piano teacher and a neighbor) came in and found us both crying. Mrs. Skinner asked, "What's wrong, girls?"

"Nothing," Pug answered honestly.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Cause Kathy said, 'Let's cry.' So we both thought of something sad so we could."

Did I have the ability to influence or what?

#3

My cousin Debbie and I sat on Papa's front porch swing one summer day long ago. I had a little tube of airplane glue in my hand. She was gullible. I was mean. So it was her fault what happened next.

I held the open tube close to my eye, peering in, "Woah, look at that..." I lied.

"What? What's in there, Kathy?"

"Oh nothing. You're too young to see it," I lied again, setting the hook.

"No, I'm not! I wanna see! What is it?"

"Little, tiny fishes. They're swimming around in there! Wow!" If my name were Pinocchio, my nose would have stretched farther than my truths.

She begged. I appeared to reluctantly yield. When she looked in, I squeezed the tube of glue. My young brain never considered what happened next. There are no fonts here large enough to describe the ear-piercing screams that Debbie produced. The next scene was ugly. Lots of aunts and uncles came running. My Daddy included. A deserved trip to the woodshed followed. I didn't sit on the swing, or anywhere, for awhile. Yet Debbie still loves me today...amazing.

At a recent family reunion we did a reenactment! I still have influence!

God took me on a mental trip to see what He planted within me, unregenerated, but dreams He wrote on my day-by-day life. Spankings and the Holy Spirit refined my gifts as I grew up.

He gave me words--spoken, written or sung--to influence others for Him. Those dreams stretched through the busy years of motherhood and still come true. This blog, a class at church, piano lessons weekly are my lesson plans from God. I love what I do.

He always wants to do a new thing in us. Growing, changing, maturing us doesn't ever stop. The change may be small--forgiving someone, writing a love letter to somebody taken for granted, taking on a new ministry or dropping some of the busyness in life. Sometimes less is more. God tends to simplify our lives if we listen and let Him. We must be intentional about growth. You were created for a purpose in ministry. When you find it, you'll love it and be good at it, by His design.

"No matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through him the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God." (2 Cor. 1:20)

Corrie ten Boom said, "God likes to be reminded of His promises."

He thinks about you all the time. He plans your future but also your days, from birth to death. He plants dreams in your heart and wants to fulfull those desires. They're good...for you, for others, for His glory. He's already said yes. We just need to agree, say amen, and get on board.

I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice
And it told Thy love to me
But I long to rise in the arms of faith
And be closer drawn to Thee.

Chorus:
Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord
To the cross where Thou hast died
Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessed Lord
To Thy precious, bleeding side.

Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord
By the power of grace divine
Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope
And my will be lost in Thine.

O the pure delight of a single hour

That before Thy throne I spend
When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God
I commune as friend with friend!

There are depths of love that I cannot know

Till I cross the narrow sea
There are heights of joy that I may not reach
Till I rest in peace with Thee.

Fanny Crosby

A PARENT'S LOVE

Mama's in heaven this Mother's Day. Her three children are here on earth. Remembering.

The veil between Mama and us is there but not forever. Her love and godly legacy transcend the two kingdoms.

Ricky, the baby of us, recently wrote about her love and how she expressed it even in her final years. A stroke wracked her body and mind, yet did not impair her ability to love. Our sibling, extended family and friends' responses below his post reveal this rich heritage. Mama still nurtures, comforts and loves us through these times of sharing family memories. Even on facebook!

Here we share our family's heart with you:

My brother and sister and I took care of my mother in our homes after Dad died. Mom had a stroke and was dependent upon someone to get her up each morning, fix her meals, and take her to the bathroom. She was confined to a wheelchair. Each of us took care of Mom for well over a year and a half before it got to the point we needed some relief. We thought that Mom had no idea of the strain that it caused each of our own families to provide that level of personal care; she did not need to know. We were all three raised to love and honor our parents so it was never a question of what we were going to do.

But then she had another stroke and now the level of care required more than family could give; she needed a nurse at times. It came to the point we had to put her in a rest home. We all felt… well, guilty. We had cared for her for five and a half years and we had tried and tried to avoid putting her in a rest home. We knew that she preferred to be with us and we preferred to have her with us.

Upon my third or fourth visit with her in the rest home, we had talked for over an hour together when there was a lull in our conversation. Mom looked over at me, put her wrinkled hand on my arm and said, “I want you to know that when you are not here, I don’t grieve for you.”

Her words caught me off-guard. The word “grieve” hit me hard. I looked into her clear, blue eyes. What was she trying to say? We all knew that she loved her new friends and she was so much happier than we had expected her to be.

She did not want me to worry about any trial that she might be undergoing and she was letting me know she loved me. Everything was okay.

Even at 83 years old, parents can still love their children in a most wonderful way.

Ricky Tippett: Parents love their

children more than the children

ever realize.

Ricky's Notes|

Notes about Ricky|

Ricky's Profile

Parents love their children more than the

children ever realize.

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Wed at 7:41am

Updated on Wednesday · Comment · · Report Note

Jennifer Snow Thomas and Gwen Smith like this.

Debbie Tippett Hockaday

Aunt Katherine and Uncle Elbert always had the right words for any situation. Such wisdom could only come from a close relationship with God. Reminds me of Col. 4:6 - "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."

Wed at 9:27am

Bert Tippett

I shared in the guilt of putting Mama there, but our visits convinced me of two things. First, that she was doing well and seemed to be happy. Also, that those around her cared for her. During one visit, a resident came over to me and said, "You know your mother is a queen, don't you?" Of course I did! But it was nice to know that he did, too. Thanks for this, Ricky.

Wed at 10:00am

Kathy Tippett Henderson

You said it well, Ricky. We've never talked about this or her words to you then. What she told me still resonates in my heart. "I don't pine for you." She used a different verb, an old time one, but with the same clear message. She unlocked my chains of guilt that day too. They called her "our angel" at Windsor House. What a legacy. I pray I can grow old as gracefully and godly as she. We have a rich heritage, boys.

Wed at 10:27am ·

Doug Henderson

I remember going over to Windsor House and visiting, with her in the wheelchair and us on the edge of the bed. She'd reach out for one of our hands. If we sat there long enough she'd be stroking the back of your hand with her thumb. She felt like she was home when we'd return from an outing. She was content, and with that comment to Kathy, we could be content as well. What an example!

Wed at 11:55am

Ricky Tippett

My devotions this morning involved making a list of things kids should know about their parents and this one came to mind under "You will probably never fully realize just how much your parents truly love you." Mom's love ran deep.

Wed at 12:18pm

Janice Banks

She loved me, too, you know. Your dear Mama was an encourager for me during my teen and college years. Her words of encouragement and love will never be forgotten. Thanks for sharing these tender times on FB.

Wed at 3:40pm

Kathy Tippett Henderson

Yes, indeed, Jan. You were the sister I never had. Mama would side with YOU over me too! She loved you so.

Wed at 4:08pm ·

Alfred Lloyd Tippett

Love can be manifested in different ways. We chose to move into a retirement center rather than interrupt into any of our kids lives and interfere with their family routines or work. I love each of my kids dearly ,but I don't want to live with either of them because it would put an unecessary strain upon all of their family's members in some way. You would only be lying to yourself to deny that it doesn't happen.

Wed at 7:11pm

Bruce Whitney

Just as often happened for me during Sunday morning services the Pastor's message answered questions I struggled with at that moment, my prayer requests and the questions and prayers of many others seated there even though we each heard differing answers within the same message.Your note is timely in that Jeanne struggles with the same issues ... See More

Wed at 8:03pm

Alfred Lloyd Tippett

In my almost 8 decades of living I've yet to find a yardstick for measuring love. I would consider myself to be very selfish if I interrupted my kids lives in any way because they had absolutely nothing to do with their being here and it is my responsibility to make sure they remain happy to the fullest externt I can provide for them. God has...See More

Wed at 8:52pm

Ricky Tippett

Yes, Jan, you were truly like a member of our family. Mom knew how to extend the love we knew far beyond bloodlines.

Yesterday at 6:15am

Ricky Tippett

Bruce, thanks for the comment. It is never an easy decision; I'm thankful that it helped you all. Miss you friendship, neighbor!

Yesterday at 6:16am

Ricky Tippett

Uncle Lloyd, I learned a long time ago never to generalize situations like this to extend to all families. God leads us if we ask Him. I believe that your decision was truly what your family needed for you to do. God bless.

Yesterday at 6:18am

Alfred Lloyd Tippett

Glad you see things from another perspective. God is love

Yesterday at 9:03am

Christine Tippett Ellis

We thought we were taking care of her, but she was still taking care of us, making sure we were at peace with where she was. I do miss her!

Yesterday at 12:41pm

Kimberly Henderson Grainger

I've never heard that story, you guys! I tell my kids all the time, "I do know you are precious in this world." I then tell them that their Great Grandma said that to all of us. What a rich heritage we enjoy.
I know my folks love me more than words, and they show that in a zillion different ways. Can't imagine going through life w/o that support, love, and identity.

Yesterday at 5:40pm