MS. COMMUNICATIONS

"Now, Kathy, I'm tired so if I give you the signal, it's time to go home.  Let's not make it a late night."

 "Got it."  We were going for dessert to some friends' house.


After 45 years of communicating practice, we oughta' get it.  Couples have these signals and for the most part they work pretty well.  However, miscommunication happens in the best of marriages.

Christmas family meals need no coded signals!

Take our daughter, Kimberly.  She and John have their restaurant signal down to a rhythm.  Other couples at the table remain ignorant but they know the foot tap to leg means time to go.  It's a pattern of 4 beats:

tap, tap, pause, kick

They were eating out with Rev. and Mrs. Jones.  He was the pastor who hired Kent as Minister of Music right out of college.  Kimberly knew their kids were getting restless so she. . .


tap, tap, pause, kick-ed John's shin under the table across from her.


John finished his story.  Everyone laughed.  Then he began another anecdote.  Kimberly tried again.


tap, tap, pause, KICK!


The waitress came by and he ordered a beverage refill. Why's he ignoring our signal? she wondered, smiling placidly.


tap, tap, long pause, FAT-DADDY KICK!


Now John's a great actor but even his wife was amazed at his ability to not even flinch or react to her high-heel skewering his shin!


Rev. Jones finally interrupted the conversation, "John, I think it's time for you and Kimberly to go home. . .she's kicked me three times!"


Miss communication.

John and Kimberly, home for Christmas with their kids:
(L to R) Blake, J.D., Elizabeth & Benjamin

When our son, Kent, first started dating Mary (now his wife) he brought her home to meet us one weekend.  He's a prankster but subtle in his humor.  Not everyone gets it.  And he never repeats performances or funny lines.  

Kent and Mary home for his Christmas Eve birthday

Doug and I were at a seafood restaurant facing the new couple.  "So, Mary, tell us about yourself," we invited.


"Well, I just finished my Master's in family counseling.  I hope to start a practice soon."


We were quite impressed with her poise and maturity.  Conversation flowed comfortably as we got to know each other.


Kent was quiet but smiled a lot, glancing sideways at Mary.  She was telling us about growing up in Wilmington and he beamed with amusement at her.  


How sweet, I thought, even though he knows all this, he's loving every minute.  I was right but not about his motives.



Mary smiled as she spoke of her life, "The ocean has always been so special to me.  I love the water and find the coast so therapeutic and, Kent, if you tickle my leg one more time, trying to embarrass me, I'm gonna pop you!"


She never even took her eyes off us but he immediately straightened up and looked duly rebuked at being outed.  She hadn't missed a conversational beat. His attempt to make her uncomfortable and embarrass her suddenly backfired. Oh yeah. . .she gets him!  She gets him good!  We too fell in love with her that day.


Marriage signals.  It's an art.  Takes years to perfect.  But the fun really begins with the imperfections in communication!


Third base coach,
Kathy

KNOWING OR GROWING?

I heard the story of four Bible scholars who were arguing over the best translation of the Bible. One said he preferred the King James Version because of its beautiful, eloquent old English. 

Another said he preferred the American Standard Bible for its literalism and accurate translation from the original text. A third man preferred the newer translations because of their practical application. 




The fourth scholar listened thoughtfully and then added, "Personally, I prefer my mother's translation." When the other men laughed, he explained, "My mother translates every page of the Bible into her daily life and it is the most convincing translation I have ever seen."


Now there's a goal!   


You heard about the Catholic priest who devoted his life to Bible study.  When he died an angel met him at heaven's gate with, "Welcome!  What would you like to do first?"


Trembling with excitement he sputtered, "Oh I'd love to see the original version of the Bible!"


He was led through huge double doors into a mammoth, marble room with a pristine Bible spotlighted on an altar.  "Stay as long as you like."  So he did.


Hours later the angel heard the priest weeping and wailing loudly so he opened the doors to find the distraught priest pointing to a passage, lamenting, "It says celebrate!  CELEBRATE!  Not celibate!"


Personally, it's not more knowledge I need.  While there's still plenty to learn, I'd do well to just act on what I already know.  It's that daily thing that makes living the Christian life a challenge.  I keep tripping over obstacles, most of them named Kathy.  Self, pride, comfort, laziness, judgmentalness.  My uninvited sidekicks seem to creep along behind me wherever I go.

In a recent interview Billy Graham was asked what he would do differently if he lived his life over. "I'd read the Bible more and meditate, rather than travel and take so many revivals."

His answer surprised me.  Then it intrigued me.  Finally it inspired me.  

The hard things I try and fail to DO probably come from what I'm NOT BEING.

There.  Just be there.  Like God instructed Moses.  

In that vital, life-giving  flow of sitting at Jesus' feet is found my power to go out and DO, LIVE and SUCCEED at whatever He calls me to.   Too often we get a little knowledge then regurgitate it to impress others.

Farmers tell me a cow has seven stomachs.  When she grazes and swallows, she later brings it up and chews it again.  This process of chewing her cud extracts the nourishment through seven stomachs.

What if I meditated over and over until God's Word became a part of me?  In that time of stillness He would mature and grow me strong enough in Him to then go out and become salt and light to a dark world.  Not through my own effort or pride but in His power.

I must decrease, He must increase. 

* * *

We can know doctrine and never know God.

* * *

We can grow in knowledge but not grow in grace.

* * *

1 Corinthians 8:1 "Knowledge puffs you up with pride, but love builds up."

* * *

Some Christians grow.  Others just swell.

Lord, take me beyond KNOWING and into GROWING.  Teach me to STAY at your feet, to LOVE what you love, THINK like you think.  Then as I face a needy world, may they say, 'She looks a lot like her Father.'  A little less me, Lord, a lot more You.

Amen.

CRAZY THINGS ABOUT ENGLISH

When you think about it, we really do have a strange language. Consider the following:

A wise man and a wise guy are opposites.

We say something is out of order when it's broken but seldom say it's in order when it works.

Don't you think it's odd that fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

We recite at a play and play at a recital.

Is it a coincidence that the only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

Why do people use the word irregardless?

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?

Who put our alphabet in the order it is? Was it because of the song?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue. (Think about that one!)

Isn't it odd that "verb" is a noun?

This is strange. . .in Chinese the word for crisis and opportunity are the same.

A crazy man is an insult, but insert a comma and say, "Crazy, man!" and it's a compliment.

If the plural of goose is geese, shouldn't the plural of moose be meese?

There are no words in the English language to rhyme with month, orange, purple or silver.

Slow down and slow up mean the same thing.

Is there another word for synonym?

What about another word for thesaurus?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Strange that abbreviation is such a long word.

Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why does X stand for kiss and O stand for hug?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

OK. I'll Zzzz-iiiip it up here! 


XOXOXO,

Kathy