SIMPLE WAYS TO DE-STRESS

My guest blogger today is Ann Voscamp.  I actually took two days to really ponder. . .SAVOR these 25 ideas from her.  Many of them are already part of my routine.  


Several years back I let God change me. . .from Type A to B, from hurry-worry-scurry to slower paced, from yakking to silence.  Even the way I walk or eat has changed.  Stress is not as present, though it still makes attempts to bash my door down.  

These are some ideas that helped me de-stress rather than become distressed!  If you're too busy to read them now, then wait!  Don't scan.  Come back later and digest them.  Invite God into your routine.

Crazy, Stressed Days Need This Life Plan: A Manifesto to Stay Sane

So I’m a mess and we’re all failures — at least all the honest of us are.

And the truth is, no one ever runs before they take baby steps. 

So I scratch down these 25 points, like my own sanity manifesto, and there are a thousand different ways in a thousand seasons to make a life glorify God.

1. First things first: Word in. Work out. Work plan.

Open your eyes every morning and just do three first:

Word in: Get into God’s Word and let it get into you.
Work out: Work out. Even  5 minutes of moving is better than nothing. (baby steps! together we can do this!)
Work plan: Write out the work plan. And then work the plan.

2. “What a heart knows by heart is what a heart knows”

Write your memory verses on a sticky note, on a chalkboard, for your pocket.

Because when you are memorizing Scripture, quiet time with the Lord — becomes all the time. (Who doesn’t want that?)

3. Flame first.

Light a candle first thing in the morning.

So you remember: You are the light that is put on a stand so that it gives light to everyone in the house.

4. Your work is art: it needs a soundtrack.

Find your music.

Play your music.

Sing your music. This is profound.

Vincent van Gogh said: “When sailors have to move a heavy load or raise an anchor, they all sing together to keep them up and give them vim. That’s just what artists lack.”

5. Step on the Snake Before Breakfast

Before breakfast, crush one hard thing that is tempting you to think there are impossible things.

Before breakfast, crush that one thing and prove that all things are possible with God.

6. Stay in the pool

Michael Phelps said it in an interview: “You’ve just got to stay in the pool longer than others.”

Set the timer. Get in the pool. Stay in the pool. Do your work. Don’t get distracted. Don’t flit from one thing to another and back.

Don’t get out of the pool, don’t leave your work, until the timer goes. The way to win is to stay in the pool.

7. Clean a space = clear headspace

Keeping the workspace clean, clears your headspace to think.

8. Go Slow. Life Zone. Life isn’t an Emergency: It’s a gift.

Life isn’t an emergency. It’s a gift.

Life’s so extraordinary it warrants going slow, held in reverential awe.

Only the slow see their lives. Which makes it seem longer and richer.

9. Make Laughter Your Chocolate

The more you laugh, the longer you live. You can’t afford not to laugh more. Make laughter your chocolate.

10. No songs without rhythm

Every song needs a rhythm; every week needs a routine. Tie certain tasks to a day or another activity.

Always memorize after breakfast or always make a double batch of soup on Saturday.

Your life makes music when you play a string of tasks always together.

11. On 25, Take 5

For every 25 minutes “in the pool” working – take 5 minutes off. Live by pomodoros. Really. Life-changing.

12. Unplug to plug into your purpose

Only if you want to plug into peace and purpose and your big picture – then unplug for certain hours everyday.

Constant connectivity effects productivity like a marijuana high.

13.Watch Your Nos & Your Yeses will take Care of Themselves

Everything you say yes to, you say no to something else.

Are your yeses forcing you to say no to what really want to say yes to?

Don’t have guilt over a no – because every no is saying a better yes.

14. Daily Stillness Appointment

When is your 5 minute stillness appointment everyday?

Write that midday time in stone. No cancellations allowed. For 5 minutes midday, be still and cease striving.

Know He is God and the day looks very different.

Slow down: You only pass by this way once.

15. If the Heaven’s Declare, get out there.

The whole of the sky and the world is speaking endlessly of His glory.

When you step outside and listen, your soul revives. You need that.

You really need one walk outside a day. Even it’s just out the door to get the mail or walk the dog around the block or a walk around the yard before you have to get in the car.

16. Work on your Wall before Noon

Like Nehemiah who worked on rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, build your wall, building whatever God has uniquely called you to — a particular work project, a creative project, homeschooling, homemaking, a ministry. Everyday before noon, work on your wall, laying down 3 stones before noon.

If you don’t intentionally work on your wall, the tyranny of the urgent can make your life a rubble heap.

17. Envision the End Goal

Like God gave Abraham a vision of the stars of the sky and told him he would have that many children, hang up a picture so you always have a vision of your goal.

18. Everyday, not Every Now and Then

Random acts of greatness pale in comparison to habitual acts of faithfulness.

It’s not what you do every now and then, but what you do everyday, that changes everything. 

Do something at the same time everyday and you find yourself a new person.

19. Hard Stops

The only way to get anywhere safely is to make complete stops.

Make hard, complete stops at set times throughout the day to pray. Otherwise you’re risking a crash.

9, 12, 3, on the hour, might be times to set an a gentle, chime alarm for – and just stop and pray.

Praying at set times throughout the day is how both Jesus and the early church lived their days: God marking time.

20. The Holy, Happiness Habit {Count Gifts}

Write down 3 things a day you are grateful for. Hunt for His glory. Look for the beauty. Count 1000 gifts.

All research says that giving thanks is guaranteed to make you 25% happier. Who. Doesn’t. Want. That.?

Thank Him for this is definitely God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Take the Joy Dare! Make right where you are your happy place.

21. Ebenezers for the Efforts

Mark little milestones! Celebrate! The little things!

A treat at the end of the day, end of the week, end of the project, end of the term.

Hang a bunting. Taste something sweet. Take a happy, thumbs up picture to mark your progress!

Make an album of a year, of the process, of the overcoming.

22. Father Affirmations

You need these everyday. Whisper them aloud, who you really are if you are IN Christ:

I am complete in Christ. Colossians 2:9-10
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ. Hebrews 4:14-16
I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:1-2
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. Romans 8:28
I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. Romans 8:31-39
I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. Philippians 1:6
I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

23. Breathe

Breathing in and breathing out like this will radically change the quality of your life. Breathe.

24. Hard and Bad Day? Hot Bath

An evening routine of a hot bath at the end of the hard and bad days?

Yes.

25. Rest so you can have the rest of God.

Sleep is more than your friend — it’s your God-given fuel.

Tomorrow always begins with the night before, so turn in early so tomorrow can turn out well.

 

CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MOMS AND KIDS

Our daughter, Katy, shared these gems awhile back.

"Andrew, quit licking the wall.
Caleb, now you quit licking the wall."

Good thing they quit licking the wall or they could grow up and land on a porch video like this creepy guy!

Another day Katy had a conversation with her middle son. "David, spit that rock out of your mouth." 

David, Caleb and Andrew

"Mom, I drank some water and the rock in my mouth went down into my brain and then came up again."

"Well, that's a good reason not to put rocks in your mouth."

Maybe that's how it begins for hard heads.  Notice she's wise enough not to use logical anatomy at this point in his young life.



Katy doesn't remember which of her six heard her say, "Sweetie, take the bag off your head.  You're gonna' suffocate yourself!"  But she still has six kids so apparently he or she listened and obeyed.  We're thankful.

James, the baby, was about three when he awkwardly donned one of his brother's backpacks. "I go to school, Mama!"  

Katy informs him, "No, you can't go to school.  You poop in your pants."  Sound reasoning from an expert diaper changer.  She's gleefully past that stage now.  He's five and poops in the potty!

So we occasionally get girl time now days!  Even got our nails did.

The stories in her husband's family go back to his childhood and his grandparents. Dave's Opa warned Oma, who was shelling peas, "Now don't let those boys put peas up their nose."  

Later in the day she told him he shouldn't have given them the idea because they did!  They retrieved nose peas from all but one boy.  Later he had to go to the doctor to get his pea removed.  It had sprouted!

Our firstborn daughter, Kimberly, has amazing discussions too. Her son, Blake, wanted to be trusted to stay home alone like his big brother, J. D. 

THE TEST CONVERSATION:

"Blake, what would you do if someone came to the door?"

After his thoughtful pause, remembering his mother's gift of hospitality, he chirped, "I'd say 'Come in!' . . .Oh!  And I'd serve snacks."

Seeing his mother's horrified face, he expounded, "I mean heathy snacks, Mom, like carrots!"  

He smiled proudly.

Her eyes enlarged.  

His smile disappeared instantly.

Blake, pondering what he'd forgotten, finally added, "Oh yeah!  And I'd introduce myself too."

Both boys grew up and became gentlemen who know when to introduce themselves, when to answer the door and when to hug Nana.











I ran a similar test on Kimberly, maybe ten at the time.  She wanted to stay home with her younger brother and sister, while I shopped with Mama and my sister-in-law, Gwen.  So I drilled her on when to answer the phone, who to call in case of various emergencies, what to say or do in certain situations, and to NEVER answer the door.

THE TEST

"OK, we're going shopping, Kimberly.  Remember the rules."

"I know, Mom, I know," said the know-it-all.

So we drove off but I decided to circle the block. I stopped a few houses away and snuck onto our porch.  As I rang the doorbell, I prayed she wouldn't answer.

She answered.  

She flung the door wide open to hear, "KIMBERLY RUTH HENDERSON!"

"Well, Mom, I figured it was you.  I was right."  She always is!

Mama and Gwen shopped without me that day.

Now days Kimberly and I love to shop together and include her daughter, Elizabeth.

Kimberly, Elizabeth and Nana at Tanger in Myrtle Beach, carrying on the family tradition

My conversations with Kimberly were interesting even when she was a toddler.   I was trying to pay bills but Miss Chatter Chin* bombarded me with questions and interruptions.  Losing patience, I looked up and prayed aloud, "Lord, please make her be quiet!"

Not losing a beat, she too looked up pleading, "Lord, please let me talk."

"He said I could, Mom!"

How do you trump God?

"Why do you ask so many questions, child?"

"Cause that's how ya' learn stuff, Mom."

I was being a good mother on this day.

She is a smart cookie.  Still!  And an excellent speaker.

* I remember a poem from THE JOLLY JINGLE BOOK called “Chatter Chin.” It goes something like this:

Everyday when I come in, I hear my little chatter chin.
     Chatter this and chatter that, first the dog and then the cat.
Yarns she picked up from the cook, stories from her fairy book,
     Questions wiser than she knows, how the honeysuckle grows.
Why the firefly has light, why the moon comes out at night,
     What keeps birds up in the air, what makes people have red hair.
I give up when you begin, little chatter, chatter chin!

MY NEW YEAR'S REVELATION

Many years ago after church we asked Kimberly and Kent, "How was children's church?"

"Fine," they dueted.

"What did you learn?" I probed for full sentences.

Kent piped up, "We learned about New Year's RESERVATIONS!"

Big sister, Kimberly, confidently corrected him, "No, Kent!  It's New Year's REVOLUTIONS!"

Our laughter cued them to clam up, a bit less confident, until one mumbled, "Maybe. . .Revelations?"

I'm not big on New Year's RESOLUTIONS either.  Never have been.  Maybe I have a defeatist attitude but it's not my habit. 

This year I began to hear or read about an idea that appealed to me though.  So I've decided to choose a New Year's WORD.  I prayed about it this week, asking the Lord to clarify my annual desires into one specific word.  It came to me yesterday.  My word this year is:

Doug carved this into a pallet board I found and it hangs where I see it often.

We usually associate it with food. 





But I found many interesting things one can savor:

Coming closer to my heart's intention is:



I want to be fully present in every moment of life.  If I listen to a friend, I want to give her my undivided attention.  If I'm watching a good movie, I want to resist multi-tasking, though I THINK I'm good at it.  No one actually is!  If I'm reading something worthwhile it deserves my full concentration.

We all know how it feels to be sharing with someone and realize their eyes, mind and attention are wandering, clearly not focused on our words.  Listening is a skill I try to develop.  What a gift, however, to open my heart to someone who
* nods as I speak
* leans in
* shows empathy in facial expression

Life is a gift from God.  When I pray, I know He hears every word.  Of course He is God and I am not.  So for me to SAVOR each moment I am blessed to live, I'll need His help to avoid distractions.  

To me, this is a bigger task for 2019 than a resolution.  I can't do it without Him.  ADD was not a diagnosis when I was young.  However, I may have invented it!

So I suppose it must begin with SAVORING my SAVIOR daily. I want my prayers to be a sweet smelling savor to Him.  I want to practice the PRESENCE of the Great I AM, to be in the present tense.

Distractions for me come primarily in pondering the
* FUTURE--To Do lists, worries, schedules

                           OR

* PAST--regrets, hurts, should'ves

There it is again!  I can only live life or worship in THIS MOMENT.

Lord, help me to savor Your goodness.  Keep me aware of the gifts of FRIENDSHIPS, MINISTRY, FAMILY, MUSIC, FOOD, WORK, PLAY and LAUGHTER.  Protect me from a life too busy or too cluttered.
In Jesus' Name,
Kathy

Self Absorbtion Talk

"You're such a good speaker," someone told my mama after she gave a devotional.  

"Oh, I'm more of a talker than a speaker," she replied.

I think I'm very much like Mama.  


How does one distinguish between speaking and talking?  I shun the word blabbermouth. But sometimes the line between the two is a matter of temperance.  Speaking should balance with listening.

I do love to share what God is doing in my life through conversation or a devotional.  I am a teacher. Someone might then say, "I wish I could speak."  God gave us all abilities, gifts to use for His glory and for others. Imagine a teacher who was petrified to speak!   

So if God called you to help or serve others, your gift may not be speaking or teaching. Gift projection (thinking everyone should do what I'm called to do) and gift envy ("I wish I could. . .") are traps that sidetrack us from God's call on our lives.

My real need was to learn to LISTEN. To be silent. Silent time with God also helps me do so with others. I see myself as a soft shoulder for others to cry on. I hurt with the hurting. Mama was like that too. As a talker though I have to hold back at times on giving advice, when all they want is an ear. Easy? No.

Years ago a depressed friend called me almost every evening, often interrupting our family supper. Because her "Hello" began in tears, I'd leave the table and miss our family mealtime.   They grew to resent it, obvious by the eye rolling and waves when the phone rang.  

She complained and whined endlessly day after day.  I decided not to say a thing about myself for a week.  She never noticed.  She didn't care about my life.  She was really more of a neighbor than a friend. Self absorbed.

I never want to become that person, consumed by self-absorbtion talk. Every trial must be shared in droning detail.  Every good deed must be proclaimed for others to hear. There's no heavenly reward in that!  It can lead to approval addiction.

As Dr. Phil says, "There's something about you I don't like in me." 

Sometimes my best motivator is seeing the mote in someone else and realizing it disturbs me because it's a reflection of my own beam!

I learned some lessons from those nightly phone calls.  Talking comes easy.  Listening is an acquired skill.  Every thought in my head does not need to be spoken.  JUST SHUT UP!  

This lady's writing reveals the desperate lengths this road takes one into a constant need to be heard and approved of by others.  

Approval Addiction

23 Mar 2010

Shari Braendel


"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4 (NIV)

PROV. 31 DEVO:

One day I got tired of hearing myself talk.

During a time when everything seemed to be going well, I found myself in a whirlwind where God revealed to me that my life was actually out of control. I knew I was walking the path He had laid out for me and it lined up with my passion for helping others. The problem was that I had become so good at it I didn't feel the need to call on God's help anymore.

What I did come to need, however, was others to tell me I was doing a good job. In fact, if someone didn't pat me on the back, I would tell them about my good deeds!

Everywhere I went people told me how skilled I was at do ing this particular thing. I had become so adept at it that I figured there was no need to consult God anymore. I stopped praying much about it and would just "do." In the middle of my doing, however, I would make sure and ask others if I was doing it okay.

One day I was talking to someone and God allowed me to see myself, almost like I was listening as an outsider. I hated what I had become. Who was this person? Why was she talking so much? Who cared that she did this or that? Oh my goodness, what had become of me?!

I decided that day to stop talking about myself. I decided to quit depending on other people's thoughts about what I was doing, or how I was doing it. I decided that the only One I needed to impress was God. I knew that it wasn't going to happen without thought and planning. This desire for approval was not going to go away by itself.

First, I sat down and had a good cry. Then I consulted God and prayed. I made a decision to be quiet about myself for 30 days. Whenever I talked to someone, I would not mention "me" at all. I would not recount my accomplishments, my breakthroughs, or my shortcomings. Nothing. I decided to begin listening to others as if hearing them for the first time. If they asked about me, I would simply answer, "I'm doing great, thank you." That's it. No more information. I wanted to turn outward and begin to invest in other people's lives.

Well, 30 days turned into 60 days, and then into 90. I will tell you...I'm different now. My friends would probably agree, but I can honestly say I don't desire their approval anymore. It's funny how when we turn attention away from ourselves, we end up feeling more complete in the end. Because truly, the only thing that completes us is God.

Dear Lord, forgive me for seeking approval from anyone but You. Teach me to be silent so I can hear others and most importantly, hear You. Bring to my attention, in a way that only You can, times when I am becoming self-absorbed during conversations. Thank You for loving me enough to help me grow. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Youth

Janice Baskins Banks

Doug Henderson & Kathy Tippett (college years)

Kathryn & Elbert Tippett

Kathryn Tippett

Ricky Tippett

Kathy Tippett college FWBBC

Tippett family with Bert in the middle

PAPA AND THE MULE

My younger brother, Ricky Tippett, shares a story from our family.  It's one worth preserving!

Ricky. . .the younger

Papa and the Mule

My Dad died in 1993, and I often think about the legacy he left me as a boy and later as a man. Filled with wisdom and discernment, his quiet way drew people to seek him out for counsel.

One day, many years before he died, Dad told me a story about his father—my Papa—from my Dad’s younger days on the farm. Though poor in many ways, my parents were rich with strong families that loved God and loved people. Farming can be a tough life and I think that’s a major reason Dad decided to enlist in the U.S. Navy as soon as he graduated from high school.

Daddy, the enlisted sailor

When Dad was a boy Papa hitched up their only mule and went out behind the house to plow the field. Everything was going well, until about the end of the third furrow and that was when the mule decided he had plowed enough. Stubbornly standing still, the mule refused to take another step. Papa snapped the reins and talked to the mule. “Come on, now! Let’s go! Work to do!”

But the mule just stood there refusing to budge.

Dad smiled as he watched the scene unfold, but he had enough sense not to laugh at times like this. Papa had his own boiling points and this was not a time for a son to snicker at his father’s frustration. Dad told me that he looked down or back at the house and Papa didn’t see him grinning.

Papa Tippett with Lloyd Jr.

Back at the mule, however, it was not going so well. By this time, Papa was pulling on the mule’s bridle and yelling at him to come on and plow. With each tug Papa’s mood changed from irritation to anger and now to the final level.

No longer smiling, Dad just watched Papa’s futile efforts to convince that mule to move forward.

Not sure whether it was a warning to the mule or just rage talking, Papa screamed, “Fine! Just stay right there!”

Stomping off to the barn about a hundred yards away, Papa soon came back out with a huge four-by-four post in his hands. While Papa was not a big, heavy man, he was a tall, lanky man and the post in his hands looked small. But there was nothing small about it.

Now standing in front of the immovable mass of flesh, Papa held the post up to the mule’s eyes so he could clearly see it. “You see this post? Well, you better see it,” Papa yelled. “Cause I’m about to lower it onto your mangy head if you don’t start plowing right now!”

Not convinced, evidently, the mule just stood there staring back. As if Papa was counting it down, …. 3…. 2…. 1…..

Papa raised that post over his head with both arms and with all of the force he could muster and all of the rage in his head, he whacked that mule on the top of his head, right between the eyes.

Dad said that he saw that big old mule drop to the ground so fast that he never even saw his knees buckle. It was just dead weight that hit the ground so quickly it didn’t even seem real.

No longer smirking, Dad was shocked. He remembered thinking, “Oh, my goodness! Daddy his just killed our only mule!”

The mule’s eyes were closed and he was absolutely dead still. Papa showed no signs of remorse and seemed glad the mule moved at last, even if it was in the wrong direction and for the last time.

Dad was wondering what they were going to do without a plowing mule. Papa was just staring down at his dead mule.

There was another surprise to come. Dad noticed after a few minutes that one of the mule’s hind legs twitched. Then another leg moved and suddenly the mule jumped up to a standing position and without another word from Papa, the mule started to plow right where he had left off.

Dad said that Papa had to hurry to catch up to the mule and get ahold of the reins. I remember smiling when Dad talked about how the mule never stopped the rest of the day, but plowed the whole field until the sun went down.

Then one morning I came across this verse in Psalm 32 and this scene from decades ago played out again in my mind…

Be ye not as the horse,
or as the mule, which have no understanding:
whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle,
lest they come near unto thee.
(Ps. 32:9)

While the mule is known for being stubborn the horse is known for being uncontrollable and impetuous. Both are bad. Both want to go their own way. Both need the controlling bit and bridle. One is stubborn. One is impetuous and impulsive.

I don’t have a good horse story about being brash and headstrong. But I don’t need a horse story. I have been like that old mule enough to learn that I need God to control me. That’s why I am drawn to the verse preceding this negative verse about two animals. I love verse 8 –

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go:
I will guide thee with mine eye.

I can go my own way like the horse or the mule or I can learn from them.

Regardless, God always gets His way.

Submission is a lot easier without scars left behind by a four-by-four post.

Ricky Tippett

MY FAVORITE VETERAN

Today is a day to show gratitude to the many veterans, both living and dead, who sacrificed to give us our American freedoms and rights.  I thank you one and all.

But I must confess, one veteran holds top place in my heart.  He was called Chief Warrant Officer Tippett.  I called him Dad.

He taught me respect.  Naval officers don't move through ranks from enlisted to officer without that.  They don't have to agree with their superiors but must respect the authority of the position. I learned to respect him and Mama at home.  That translated into honoring God as my ultimate authority.

He taught me loyalty.  Dad modeled loyalty not only to the Navy but to all military branches and America. I remember him often saying, "We're not a perfect nation but we ARE the best nation in the world."  He's still right on that. The land of the free is still where refugees long to come.  That translated into loyalty to my family, my church and my friends. In the Christian walk, we call it faithfulness.

He taught me to grow in education and learning.  That's how one moves through the various military ranks, by study and hard work.  As his children, Bert, Ricky and I were the first generation to finish college or go on to graduate degrees.  He modeled Christ who also "grew in wisdom and knowledge."

He taught me a strong work ethic.  He didn't need someone watching over him to do the job right nor to complete it.  We learned that at home with chores.  As adults it translated into working "as unto the Lord" not merely giving eye service to our bosses. 

He taught me honesty.  Dad served in various areas of food service.  Sometimes it was in the commissary other times in the mess hall.  He was not a cook but was over many who did cook.  Taking home leftovers was NEVER an option for him, although some in service did steal.  Mama said, "Your daddy wouldn't even take home a paper clip or military ballpoint pen!"  That translated into telling the truth, owning our mistakes in little and big things. Integrity mattered.

Today I salute and honor our American veterans in appreciation.  Today I wish I could hug that one special vet and say, "Thank you, Daddy, for serving us, our nation and God."

Do you think they read blogs in heaven?